Prayer and Meditation Entry4

Lord, thank you for your grace. Grant me the sincerity to accept it fully, embrace it sincererly, live it vibrantly.

Teach me to live grace that forgives and restores. Teach me the balace of justice and mercy.

Thank you for your grace.
Thank you for your grace.
Thank you.

Season of Prayer and Meditation Entry 3

A Prayer for today.

Lord, I have gathered all of my failures before me, asking you to bring to mind the failures that have hurt and offended you and those you love. And I confess that many of these are failures to see beyond myself. They are the result of selfishness and of pride: my ego overrun. God I recognize and apologize for the fact that I have seen myself as the star of my own show and I have believed that your audience was my own. I have been greedy with more than money and my failures are my sin.

Now God I give them all to you. I give you the failures that occurred because I was doing the best I could for you and fell short. I give them to you as the worship they were intended to be and I trust you to see my heart and receive the gift as I intended it. AND, I give you my failures that were a result of my pride. I give them to you as a gift of repentance, releasing them from my grip into your grace as a gift of worship, entrusting them to you to make new as I face the coming year with the intent to serve you as the only star of the universe. I am sorry for what is my fault. And I regret what was not. But in every case I let go to let You renew and restore me.

Lord, this year I will bring you fresh gifts of worship in my personal life (privately and publicly). I will bring you fresh gifts of worship in the acts of service I devote to you. I will bring them to you as gifts for your glory and not my own. Lord make me strong in Your Spirit and weak in myself and committed to the goal of making you more and me less. And should I fail, God may I fail only for trying too hard to make you known.

Amen

Season of Meditation Entry 2

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

This is a familiar verse to me. But in bringing it up on Sunday morning in my message, I was touching on something in myself that God was doing. "Forgetting what is behind." Here is some of my meditation on the passage from my evening meditation and study.

I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it - If Paul could just finish boasting on his credentials, what is it that I have to boast about. And how could I think so highly of myself if Paul considered that he had not taken full grasp on the things God has given him in Christ... Consider - to think or hold the opinion. I am such a worker person. I like to do for better than I like to think about. I prefer decisions made in the throws of service than ones made sterilely (I'm not sure this is a word...) in advance. Even in my passion for planning, I generally get the big picture, gather the supplies and decide on the spot how it will all come together. Maybe what I "consider" is not well enough thought about. So what do I consider myself. (Here comes true confession - pride and all) I consider myself "the man with the plan." I consider myself right... generally. I consider myself to have come in short of my goals... OK, generally having failed. I consider myself... hmmm. Taken hold of - Too much stuff. Cursed materialism! Not enough of the power of God available to me. Not enough of his wisdom. Not enough of His plan. Not enough of his outrageous love. Too much of his grace.

Forgetting what is behind - Well in 2008, I feel like I lost friendships. I think I did not grow personally... very much. I think I spent money poorly. I think I lead ineffectively. I think I gave too little and used too much. I wish I had more proud things behind. Forgetting - "To have no memory of." I know what that feels like. When I forget to call someone back. When I forget where I put my keys. When I forget what I went to the store for. I usually forget when I have put my brain power to work on something else. Surely that will be the key to forgetting what is behind. Put my brain power to use on something besides blaming or beating myself up. On something beside compensating for those failures or proving that they don't define me.

Pressing on toward the goal for which Christ has called me heavenward - Well there are the things I should be using my brain power for. 1. Guiding fellow Christ-followers toward fruitful Christian living. 2. Developing a community of believers that adequately love God and serve the world He loves. 3. Sharing the light of God with people in my own life, and not just the people in our "church". (The church is my own life, but there is such a blur of profession, ministry, and personal calling that it is necessary for me to share my faith in another way in order to be vibrant in my sense of responding directly to God instead of responding to my job description... or people's expectations... or my professional goals.)

Win the prize - What is the prize? In myself I wish the prize were a big church with a big paycheck. A big house. (ouch!) But really the prize that I should fix my eyes on is closer union with Christ. As much of a friendship person as I think I am, you would think this connection would be high on my list of desires. I want it to be higher. I don't think of Him enough. I don't pray continually as I think I could in order be close to Him. The prize - Christ now and forever.

THE PRIZE

My Season of Prayer Entry 1

Hey there everyone. I'm starting the year in a 40 day season of prayer and meditation as has been my custom for about 7 years now. I'll try to enter my prayers, reflections, revelations and progress as much as I can.

So far it's been a good start. I am already more focussed and energized. I'm feeling relief from the strain and fatique of the prolonged holiday season. I have found enough energy to get some direction from God in regard to the first half of this year's sermon preparation. I feel strongly directed to teach about God's ideas on wealth, things that keep Christ followers locked away from the significant lif God has for us, things that are assumed to be Christian beliefs but are not, and encouragement from an Old Testament prophet named Habbakuk. This is great to have in front of me. It provides a great deal of relief and a good dose of inspiration to know what I am called to in advance.

As for my prayers, I'm beginning by asking God to relieve me of my failures from 2008. I'm one of those people who wear defeat like a mill stone and take all the blame on myself. So, I'm asking God to take my sense guilt away without me replacing that guilt with blame (that is sometimes a convenient option to guilt...). I want to be able to face this year's objectives without any discouraging glances in the rear-view mirror.

I'm seeking to become a more attentive husband. I need God to help me. I'm a task person and marriage is a much more grand endeavor than a task. I need to not be distacted by tasks... (Please Lord help... I already have a list of tasks unfinished.)

I'm also focussing on asking God to grant me more patience and understanding as a dad. To teach me how to guide with nudges and wait for long term results intead of instant responses.

I'm asking God to grant me more passion for everything in life. My passion was lost in the Fall of '08... sucked away for everything. And the stress, over-work, and emotional requirement of the holiday season was hard to endure without it.

That's where I'm starting. Thanks for reading.

Happy New Year

Well, since we have not made it by Christmas for a card in several years (since kid #2), we have decided to send new year's cards instead. Much love to you all.