bruce's blog

100 Things I'm Thankful For

2011-10-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

For my first post in the Gratitude Journal, I am going to focus on the people who are special to me.

1. MY WIFE
I'm thankful for my wife, The Incredible Songstress. The loves me so patiently and gently. She believes in me and makes me feel 'at home' wherever we are together. She not only loves me, but she likes me. That God chose her for me, is the grandest blessing in my life, filling my empty gaps with her endless talent and graces. To love her is more than easy... it's fun!

2. MY CHILDREN
I'm thankful for my children, all three. Elder Son who cares deeply for people and enjoys them. He is brilliant and his intellect blows me away. He accepted Christ at the age of five and longs to please Him every day. Middle M, whose quirky smile and gregarious sense of humor lightens every room. He is agile and savvy, loves God with a desire to know Him, and chases life with gusto. Princess is strong and joyful, creative and a natural achiever with a passion for beauty. She has eyes to see Jesus in people. It would be nice to take credit for their strength, but the truth is that I done more enjoying of them than forming of them.

3. MY PARENTS
My mother has immigrated to her true home in the next life, but her marks are everywhere in the people around me. A creative soul with a wide circle of influence, she encouraged without effort and gave her best to everything she committed to. I am thankful to have been raised by committed, caring, dependable Christians who pointed my life in the right direction. My dad showed me faithfulness and dependability. He expanded my view of Christian faith by challenging the box that defined (or maybe confined) my view and experience of God's grace.

4. MY BROTHERS
Brothers don't compliment each other much, but my brothers have proven to be more of a team for me than I could have dreamt they ever would be. Balanced, dependable, productive. More conservative than me - evidently that's because I'm the youngest and I was coddled. We couldn't be more different OR more the same.

5. MY FRIENDS
Freddie, Kris, Chuck & Lizz, Chris, JeerMe, Chris, Paul, Kevin, Kerry, John, Jason, Rob & Lisa... and the list goes on. My life has been enriched by special people and shaped by the wonderful fact that they like me and enjoy my company. My life is savory for having shared it with incredible people. I wish that life had afforded me the pleasure of spending every season of it surrounded by the cloud of great friends I have enjoyed, but alas, the shifting current of earthly life moves friends in and out of proximity. However, with this kind of friend, the joy they bring echoes into the farthest valleys and through every season of life. A hone call connects us as if there had never been a gap.

Lord God of Heaven and Earth, you are almighty and personal. I love you and I thank you for loving me with your everlasting love and I thank you for showing your love to me through these people who prove unmistakably that you do love me. I have been so happy to share this "one another" Christian journey with these incredible people. Thank you for the joy we have shared, the struggles we have carried together, the differences that made us stronger as we learned to continue with them instead of in spite of them, the deep thinking that we worked out... Lord, my life is truly RICH with the blessing of the people you have put in my life. I want to be a person who blesses you and blesses these people in return. Grant it I pray. Amen

"I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise will continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1

Judging in the Church - A Memory

2011-10-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

"Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” [Jesus] John 7:24

When Jesus made this statement he was responding to religious people who were very perturbed with Him for not acting very religiously on the day of their weekly worshipping rituals. In my scripture meditation this week, I came to this passage and the Lord lead me to remember fondly an experience from my past ministry in San Bernardino. (I think my heart was already pondering my pastoral history fondly because I have been enjoying the memoirs of pastor, professor, Bible translator - Eugene Peterson.)

Each Sunday morning as we gathered to sing vibrant songs of praise, and to study the Bible together, our congregation would be full of energy and there was a buzz of friendship before and after each service. During each service, the crowd was very generous with their expression, both in worship to God and in response to the unfolding of the Bible's truths. Heads nodded, eyes smiled, cried, and questioned. Fingers turned the onion skin pages of treasured Bibles. Lips sometimes laughed aloud and sometimes whispered "amen." Except for one spot in the sanctuary.

1/4 of the way back on the north side of the sanctuary sat a man we'll call "Ted" (not his real name). Each week, as the music subsided, Ted would sink into the pew next to the pole right there in the same spot, 1/4 of the way back on the north side of the sanctuary. And after the offering receptacles had been passed, Ted will sink into a silent slumber, with his head propped against that faithful pole. Ted's wife sitting next to him and family in tow.

Oh, my wife and I would smile about Ted sleeping through my preaching and joke about my apparent lack of skill. Little did I know that there were some others in the crowd who did not smile, but had some unkind words of judgement about Ted's weekly penchant for napping in church. At one point, it came to my attention that Ted's wife had been approached by someone and within a week I was approached by someone else who was up in arms about what they called disrespect for God, the Bible, and for me. They complained that Ted was unfaithful, and a bad example for the teens in the church. They said that 'church' (by which they meant the Sunday morning service not the community of believers as the New Testament uses the term) should have been taken more seriously as a responsibility than Ted was taking it.

Well, long before I was approached by the person who was so concerned about Ted's example, I had spent a few evening with Ted's family for dinner. It was during one of those dinners that I found out that Ted would regularly work all day on Saturday as a local policeman and then pick up a shift as a private security guard on Saturday nights to earn enough money to support his growing family. My knowledge of Ted's real life situation inspired me to take this complaint very seriously.

After listening to the person express the entirety of their concern, I asked if they were aware of any others who had similar concerns about Ted. They confirmed that they indeed did know such persons, and assured me that they had not gossiped about the topic. I asked if we could get everyone together so that we could all talk together about this very important concern. They agreed to arrange the gathering and I agreed attend.

At the gathering there was only one other couple in attendance. This was a great relief to me, as I had prepared myself for a much more ominous scenario. After they listed the other persons who could not be present for very important reasons, I very briefly confirmed that both couples we concerned with Ted's sleeping during the Sunday morning worship. I then took the opportunity to ask the first couple if they had enjoyed their recent water skiing trip, the beach trip they took before that, the Super Bowl Party they had stayed home from church to prepare for earlier in the year and a few other events that had kept them away from church participation. The first couple talked about their busy life quite freely, while the other couple squirmed in their seats. After some time I explained that Ted's faithfulness to attend church so regularly came at a very significant personal cost. I also explained that his family had been an example of putting church participation above many other potential activities. I then asked them to recall any times they were aware of Ted's absence from church for optional activities that could have been planned around church participation. (This was a gamble because I was aware of at least 1.) Our conversation went on for some time and at the end, we all agreed that Ted was indeed a very good example of one kind of faithfulness. In fact, in some ways he was a better example than we were. One of those couples never attended another service at our church in San Bernardino. But Ted... he was always there. And that seemed to work out just fine for all of us.

I served as pastor in San Bernardino for a total of 12 years; 7 of them as the lead pastor in an incredibly loving and generous congregation. It was my first opportunity to serve in the capacity of lead pastor and I needed their love and their grace. Even in the most gracious of congregations, there can be individuals who find some kind of personal satisfaction in looking at the apparent short-comings of others with a sense of condemnation or judgement. I have discovered that most of the time people tend to judge in others the very things that they are trying to disguise in themselves. We, religious people, tend to look for those who share our weaknesses, but perhaps in a more obvious way, or a less socially acceptable way, or maybe in a way that is just different enough from our own struggle to seem somehow more lowly. It is just such people to whom Jesus said, "Do not judge others or you to will be judged. And you will be judged by the same measure that you use to judge." (Matthew 7:1) Elsewhere, Jesus said to this same kind of person, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37) Condemning others does no good for the one condemned and even less for the one condemning.

A church is a communion of persons from various life circumstances, joining spirits in honor of God. It's the joining of spirits that seems so very hard for us to do. Yet, the joining of spirits is at the core of what makes 'church' so very important. Let us hear and obey the angel who calls "Come let us gather together for the great supper of God." (Revelation 19:17)

Random Dissonance - One Thursday in October

2011-07-10T17:13:00.000-07:00

It was Thursday... That's about all I remember about the date. I do remember that it was foggy outside and that I was expecting to dread my commitment to teach a high school English class that day.

The fog on the floor of California's Great San Joaquin Valley was damp, cold, and dense. Its the worst kind of weather we get here in the nation's salad bowl. I have vivid childhood memories of fog so thick that my dad would have my older brother put his head out of the passenger side window to look straight down at the white line on the side of the road to protect us from crashing our car in the white blindness. I also remember my own response to southern California meteorologists, who during my first year away at seminary warned, "The fog is dense today. Leave for work early and drive slowly." Then when I got out there to drive there was little more than a vague haze with a generous 75 ft. of visibility. I said out loud in my car (as if to the drivers around me), "Pick up the pace people. As long as you can see your hood ornament you have no reason to slow down." It seems the world outside of my own Mayberry, USA has it's own very frail idea of what dangerous fog is. No, to me fog is not a danger. To me fog is an annoyance that tenaciously keeps a strangle hold on the locals who, with equal tenacity, press toward normal productivity as if sheer will can overcome the very forces of nature.

But fog does kill. When I was a child I remember a friend was in a car wreck caused by fog on the way to school. His mom died in that wreck...

On this Thursday in October I did not hear of anyone dying. But I came back to life.

It was a strange event. It didn't so much happen as much as I realized that it had happened. For months upon months I had prayed that God would life the weight of the dissonance I was feeling. I had sought every corner of my life confessing unknown sin. I had presented by sadness to God and asked for beauty in place of ashes (Isaiah 61:3). I had tried to live in the joy I knew I should have, but instead of a walk in faith it was a charade parade. I had prayed that the darkness would lift and that oppression would be defeated. I had spoken out against evil spirits that I thought may have been around me and prayed that God would cause any of them present to be dispelled. All for nought. The pain of my loss friendships kept me covered in heaviness and grief.

But not this day! Sometime during 2nd period I realized that I felt "normal." I felt laughter at one point and it was such a foreign feeling that I took notice that it had happened without effort. I passed out the exam to the students, gave them their instructions to work in silence and then sat at the teacher's desk to recount my day. I looked back at my morning and realized that I woke up with out any sense of despair. I realized that at no point in the morning thus far, had I felt anything negative or heavy. I was not depressed.

There I sat and I prayed a prayer of gratitude and I asked God, "why today?" I listened for an answer that never came and I recognized deep in my soul that I would not receive any answer. God had healed me. He had done so in His perfect timing and the best thing I could do would be to accept it thankfully. So I did. I accepted it thankfully and trusted that the long darkness was finally over.

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever." (Psalm 136)

And so it was. I have often remembered my sadness and felt pangs of sorrow for the losses, not yet restored. But the sadness no longer has a life of its own and it no longer rules my experiences with its oppressive heaviness. Depression has not returned and I remember that "he whom the Lord sets free is free indeed." (John 8:36)

This is the conclusion of the story of my random dissonance. Random because it was born in in events that were not unfamiliar to me. Dissonant because I had been locked in a living countermelody that was seemingly played in a musical key that was offensive to the song that the rest of the world was singing. This was my story. A story of God's miraculous healing. And I know that others had stories that are similar, yet different. I know that in some people's story, God uses medication to break the clouds and free the captive. This was my story. Don't fear yours. God is in the story and He will redeem you and your storm for good.

Responding to Grace - An Easter Sunday Follow-up

2011-04-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

Oh to have had more time on Sunday to discuss the truth of God's grace, but the truth IS that grace is a mystery of God so deep and wide that it will take a lifetime to plumb its depths and span its width. God's grace comes to us in moments of divine revelation that sometimes knock us off of our feet and onto our knees. And sometimes it gently nudges us as lightly as a kiss blown from fingertips.

God's grace so brightly portrayed on the cross is His saving grace. This is the grace that He gave to lift the burden of our rebellion by forgiveness: forgiveness so generous that God not only forgives us of our wrong-doing, He takes away the eternal cost of that wrong doing. Like receiving a pardon, God's grace restores our record and our reputation to it's pre-rebellion state.

But God's grace comes in so many other forms. Sunshine. I know, that sounds somewhat childlike to consider. But wait a moment. Think about sunshine and all the ways we benefit from it. In hundreds of ways, everyday, we experience God's grace through the sun that shines on us and provides vitamin D for our health, photosynthesis for our fruits and vegetables, conduction to warm our planet, light to illuminate our way, and even energy to power this computer. Sunshine = God's grace. Thank you God for the warm sunshine that makes my light weight T-shirt so comfortable today.

Grace is God's goodness provided on our behalf. His saving grace. His common grace. His loving, compassionate grace.

God's grace restores us and our situation. This is what we talked about this past Sunday in the experience of Peter at the Sea of Galilee after Christ's resurrection. It takes our biggest failures and offers us transformation. Grace takes our deepest regrets and shame and promises us a future with hope and prospect. Grace takes our damage relationship with God and offers us a restoration which takes us ALL the way back to God's original plan for us. That's good!

How then should we respond to grace?
1. Be transformed. We can't stop at being forgiven, we have to delve into the very situation that we have marked a failure and be transformed. Use it for good. Learn from it. Grow from it. Help others from it. Put down a stake in our spirit that will anchor us for future living in God's grace.
2. Be productive. If God is giving us a future and purpose in that future, we need to pursue that prospective occupation. Get educated. Get experience under a mentor. Get equipped by the Holy Spirit. Get going (to the very ends of the earth to make disciples).
3. Be close to God. God has moved close to us. We need to stop moving away from Him and into our own ego-feeding, pleasure pursuing, treasure hoarding activities; and start devoting time to God seeking, God honoring, God sharing life (in all of its true fullness).

God is offering...

I like this hymn.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

(Frances R. Havergal, February1874)

Click here to hear the Easter message, "A Guy Named Peter"

Random Dissonance - Color

2011-04-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

"Depression is something that makes you lose your sight." Michael Schenker

Spring is one of my favorite times of year. Since one of the things that helps me feel centered and balanced is gardening, it makes sense that I should enjoy the blooming season. This Spring, for the first time ever, I have successfully produced a crocus bloom in my garden. (I really live in the wrong region for crocus to flourish.) But the elements worked together in perfect harmony with the dna of the crocus bulb to produce a flurry of early Spring purple near the front walk of our home.

As I sit typing today, Spring is nearly in full swing. My Mayberry, USA is an agricultural town surrounded by fruit and nut trees. And for a couple of weeks each year we are swathed with the pink and white blooms of almond, peach, nectarine, and cherry trees. I have often wondered if from above, it might appear that our town is floating in a pond of blossoms.

With a deep sense of admiration for blooming trees, I have planted 2 in my front yard, and planned the timing of their bloom to last into the early mid Summer. Even our larger shade tree, which does not bloom, begins it's leaf season in a blaze of bright red infant foliage. Spring color is in one sense the reward for a yard carefully planned, consistently cared for, and attentively nurtured. Looking out the window into our yard, my vision is today bathed in blue, purple, pink, white, red, yellow, and coral. Happy Spring to me.

Last Spring, deeply entrenched in the barrage of my emotional tempest, this visage of color had no affect on me. Every bloom felt grey or brown. Just as nearly every experience of my very blessed life had seemingly been reduced to it fundamental operation, Spring had been reduced to the change of temperature, which would mean little more than changing the household thermostat and needing to mow the lawn with more regularity in order to prevent my suburban castle from being "that house" on the block.

Realizing then that my life had become a colorless landscape of brownish greys and greyish browns, I considered a serious breech of my previous commitment to hide my malaise at all cost. I began to think that the convergence of causes for my depression had surrendered to physiology. There is a saying in psychology that I have not forgotten since my college days. "Neurons that fire together, wire together." A purposely obvious play on the axiom about family prayer, the saying points out that in the human brain, stimulus that is repeated over time creates a well-worn pathway in the brain, which will replace the previous "normal" pathway for brain functions. In other words, if you do (or feel) something repeatedly for a long enough period of time, it becomes your new normal. This is how we form habits. (It is the key to breaking habits too!) But it has a more insidious meaning for those who experience depression. If you stay depressed long enough, those emotional pathways in the brain will become your new normal. Your brain will travel those neuron highways regularly and you will suffer what is called "clinical depression." I was taught that a person who has a normal depression that lasts for 6 months is in the risk zone for becoming medically depressed and needs the help of pharmaceutical therapy. It had been nearly 15 months for me and I was ready to call the Dr. It seemed that a life on prozac, lithium, or celebrex couldn't be any worse than the colorless post-storm life that I had settled into. And truthfully, it would have been better (should it have come to that).

This for me was a deeply humbling moment. I had lost. I had reached the end of me and had found myself wanting. In a world where I had always had a way out and a vision of the vibrantly colorful "good" that hovers just below the surface of every dark and colorless challenge or struggle, I had become color blind. My stiff upper lip, my determination to muscle my way through it alone, my rehearsed prayers, my desperate prayers, my self-diagnosis: all the best of my efforts came to nothing. They came to nothing, and I admitted defeat.

This experience is not new to me (reaching the end of myself...). I had a similar experience when I met my wife. My beautifully crafted plan for finding God's ideal woman for me seemed perfectly logical and attainable given the right amount of effort, accompanied by doses of prayer and wise counsel on my part. At 25 I was at the end my efforts again and gave up. THEN, THEN, God brought the beautiful wife of my youth into my life. Though I had been a close friend of her brother for nearly a year, been in her home on many occasions, met every other member of her family, it was not until I had admitted defeat that God opened the door of His will to me.

And so it was with the storm that turned my technicolor life into sepia. No matter how well I prayed, no matter what effort I put into the healing process, no matter how strong my self-will, I would not receive God's healing until I had come to the end of myself. And so it was one Thursday in October. When I had reached the end of myself, God was there! And like Dorothy landing in Oz, color!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-9)

(Take some time and read all of Proverbs 3 - There's a lot of incredible wisdom and spiritual insight recorded there.)

Apparent Pilgrim - A Divine Center

2011-03-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

I’m thinking through the concept of Christian simplicity. And before I dig into my old text books or read contemporary, idealistic articles about it I am reflecting on the gospel and moments when, in the Bible’s record, Christian simplicity was displayed for us in an exemplary way. While I can think of many things that Jesus said which will assist us in the pursuit of simplicity, discovering an example is a bit more elusive. I have unearthed at least 2. And it seems to me that one relies upon the other. So, I begin with the one relied upon.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

It’s those last two sentences that clinch this for me. Martha is only doing what is expected. Mary is doing what is right. Martha is worried and upset. Mary has chosen what is better. This to me is a dynamic picture of simplicity. Martha and Mary have innumerable things to worry about. But, there is only one thing that is essential: inner clarity resulting in outward singularity. At least for this moment, Mary was living in ultimate simplicity. The world had preset expectations for her. (See John 12 for another look at Mary’s inner clarity. In that case one of the disciples speaks against Mary’s focused act of worship.) Women were expected to act like Martha. Society had a list for Martha and Mary. But Mary had sharp personal focus that cut through the confusion of worldly expectations and lead her to the feet of Jesus.

Christian simplicity should exemplify that kind of clarity. Christian simplicity should clearly separate the things of the kingdom of God from the things that move us away from God. Then, simplicity should move us in kingdom cadence toward God, free from distraction.

Listen to what Richard Foster says about the inward reality of simplicity.

"The Christian discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style. Both the inward and outward aspects of simplicity are essential. We deceive ourselves if we believe we can possess the inward reality without its having a profound effect on how we live. To attempt to arrange an outward life-style of simplicity without the inward reality leads to deadly legalism.

Simplicity begins in inward focus and unity. It means to live out of what Thomas Kelly called 'The Divine Center.' Kierkegaard captured the nucleus of Christian simplicity in the profound title of his book, Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing.

Experiencing the inward reality liberates us outwardly. Speech becomes truthful and honest. The lust for status and position is gone, because we no longer need status and position. We cease from showy extravagance, not on the grounds of being unable to afford it, but on the grounds of principle. Our goods become available to others. We join the experience that Richard E. Byrd recorded in his journal after months alone in the barren Arctic: 'I am learning ... that a man can live profoundly without masses of things.’”

(OK, so that was a quote from one of my old text books. You got me.)

This is what Jesus taught us in that early sermon on the side of a easily sloping mount, “seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.” The “all these things” that Jesus referred to were clothing, food, and livelihood. (Matthew 6) I find myself quite caught up in providing food, clothing, and things for life. I find myself quite up tight about the things that are expected of me by other people. I find myself short on singularity, clarity, and inward simplicity, and long on worry.

Simplicity must begin: inside. My outer life can be pared down as an act of symbolic poverty designed to impress others or accomplish some noble earth-friendly, budget driven objective. But if I am to be delivered from the viciously ego-driven, profit obsessed tyranny of fallen living, I must have a simple soul, centered on Christ. This divine center is the only escape from my own insane attachment to things and my oppressive lust for affluence which, together, deceive me into thinking that security is found in property, power, and prestige. Then I am free to live, simply fulfilled to sit with Jesus, full of Him and filled with His grace.

I like the way that the Message paraphrases Romans 12:2.

Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remake you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed. Thus you will prove in practice that the will of God is good, acceptable to him and perfect.

DIVINE CENTER
di-vine: adj. - addressed, appropriated, or devoted to God
cen-ter: n. - the core or middle of anything

Random Dissonance 5 - Help for the Hurting

2011-03-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

"Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand." C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

It's been raining again. It's the second day of Spring and the skies are covered with clouds. The rain came in the dark hours of night when sleep had already captured me in its tantalizing spell. From then on, without a break, the tender drops have fallen relentlessly. Here in California, a gentle rain may as well be hurricane force winds. We just cancel everything except work and stay home in such formidable conditions. While we, beneficiaries of Father Serra's mission exploration, can keep walking and working through a 6.2 earthquake without missing a step, rain seems to disable us. I don't know how we might handle such conditions as freezing rain or white-out snow. I suspect we might just surrender to the elements. I guess that's why we don't live in Minnesota. No surrender for me. Today was Sunday.

While mild rain seems delicate as it falls, its collective effect can be quite destructive. Experts tell us that it is the collective effect of long-sustained rainfall that causes mud slides with the strength to carry million-dollar homes down beach-side cliffs. It's also this seemingly amiable precipitation that causes midwestern rivers to swell over their banks, crushing levies, and obliterating historic communities.

It's hard to know how to respond to someone who is hurting with depression. And it's hard to know what's really going on. Are they "just down?" Maybe they are having a "mid-life crisis?" Perhaps it's a "spiritual issue?" Another part of the problem with responding to someone who is going through a season of depression, is that the depression causes an internal desire to retreat from people. I guess it's obvious that it's an arduous undertaking to love and help someone who wants nothing more than to be left alone, drenched in the bone soaking sorrow that sometimes pours inside them and other times drizzles with relentless persistence.

In my experience, I discovered another troublesome aspect of trying to help someone who is bound up in the throws of that beastly storm called depression. I think we underestimate the power of depression. And I think we, for convenience sake, under diagnose depression. I don't mean that we don't recognize it as depression often enough. While that is possibly true. I mean that we see depression as a relatively simple thing: singular, one-faceted, shallow, and easily fixed.

Some of us think of depression as an emotional problem rooted in the troublesome experiences of our past. If this is our mindset, our approach to encouraging a depressed person is to go back into the recesses of their memories, dig up some painful memories, relive them, and talk them out. Perhaps we see the darkened, cloudy storm as a build up of mental problems like stress, worry, failure, fear, anxiety or the like. In this case our approach is to suggest that the depressed person consider asking their physician for prescriptive psychotropic medications to relieve the physiological causes of the storm. Often in the Christian world we diagnose all such storms as a spiritual issue. (Let me say that in my worldview, everything is spiritual and thus every issue is a spiritual one.) Our tendency is to assume that unaddressed sin is the cause of the darkness that shrouds depression's victim in the shadows of the soul. Or perhaps that there is a kind of demonic oppression that needs to be addressed through a deliverance ministry. We then pressure someone who is already a victim to "confess" to something so that they can receive God's forgiveness and restoration, or we endeavor to pray out an evil spirit that we presume to be present. And then a few of us see depression as a relational issue and counsel its victim to pursue reconciliation.

Looking through the rain-drizzled window pane, past the breaking clouds and now resting under blue skies, I can see that depression finds is power in the collaborative effort of multiple forces working in concert. And I want to add that I believe in my case that the collaboration was neither accidental nor disorganized. I believe that Satan, the great opportunist, found just the right season in which to manipulate my mind, heart, and soul through deceptive circumstances and overwhelm me with a torrent that could have drown me. But the flood did not come in a single downpour. Instead, in slow constant rain, happenings and hurts, situations and stress, demons and discouragements came at me with relentless determination. My mind was attacked, as was my spirit, as was my heart, as was my body. Those who loved me enough to speak up and try to get in to help, missed the mark because of misunderstanding. In their attempts to address only one area of my struggle, blind to the others, they missed the diagnosis and became part of the rain: stepping on one wound while trying to bandage another.

Ultimately, I would have to read the story of another Christian pilgrim struggling through a much shorter lived depression, before I could identify the multi-faceted weather pattern that had embroiled me in a battle for my survival. See Shaun Groves' complete story here. In coming upon this awareness, I had been given the battle armor and spiritual weapons to stand up in the deluge and press against the current. I stood. I prayed again. I addressed spiritual forces in my mind, my heart, my spirit, and my body. And the clouds cracked. They only cracked. But beyond that crack was a golden light that bid me, "come."

It's raining outside again today. It's raining and I want to put on some bright yellow galoshes and run around kicking up the puddles. It's raining. It's pouring. I love the rain!

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:9-11

Random Dissonance 4: Cruel Skies - the heart of the depression

2011-03-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

Who knew that at London's latitude the sunlight would shine well past 9PM in the Summertime? I went back to my hotel room to unwind. It was a sweet little room in a reasonably priced boutique hotel just off of Hyde Park and close to Kensington Palace. But regardless of the agreeable accommodations, I could not be comforted. So at just before 9 o'clock, under a brlightly lit sky, I set out on a walk. I headed to the park at a aggressive pace. Entering the park two blocks away and determined to maintain my gait, I walked on the first found path heading for what appeared to be the center of the park. I don't know if I was looking for some kind of distraction to relieve my mind, if I was trying to produce enough endorphins to combat the tension that seized my every muscle, or if I just wanted to escape into the land of fairy tales and 'happily ever after.' I must admit that London is a wonder-filled place in which to dream of disappearing.

I walked and walked until I ran into the Serpentine (it's a lake), which forced me to exit the park onto the public sidewalk on the opposite side of the park. I glanced at my watch at a quarter before 10. Dusk was finally swallowing the daylight into shadow, and never letting up on my determined pace, I decided I might be safer in that metropolitan area to walk along the busy roadways that surrounded the park than I would be walking through a lightless public woodland that once served as private royal hunting grounds. And I was soon to discover that Hyde Park is ENORMOUS. Walking the circumference of the park I made it back to my hotel sometime near 11:00 and went to my moderately appointed room, through narrow halls and around obtuse turns that clumsily joined 3 former row houses, built for the fashionably wealthy English aristocrats of a bygone century. I laid down without a shower and went rapidly to sleep. I had not found peace for my tortured mind and broken heart, but had physically worn my nearly rehabilitated body plumb out. (I had caught a vicious stomach virus in Africa and spent devastating hours the previous day nauseous and achy on an airplane.)

While the long-lit skies of London shone with lustrous indigo on a cloudless evening, the skies of my spirit, which had been churning with scattered showers for some time, turned cruel. The once scattered showers found the glue to bond them together into the perfect storm. That glue was sorrow. A pattern of lost friendships that taunted my mind and choked my heart, blackened the light in my soul with deep mourning. Alone, the loss of any friendship is painful and regrettable, and should cause anyone to reflect deeply. Friendship loss is part of life: survivable, healable, and painful in a way that reminds me of a deep tissue injection - potentially helpful but never enjoyable. Pastors however, are supposed to take this loss with grace, resonance, and sage-like repose. When someone we love, no matter how deeply, decides to leave a church we love no less deeply, we are expected to show adequate sadness, strewn with heart-felt compassion, restrained with gothic hero like faith.

The newest broken friendship spun indigo skies into a tempest that, if in the sea, could suck a hearty vessel into its vortex without a ripple in the stormy waves. Soaked to the bone from a few years of somewhat self-imposed pressure to be successful in planting a church, the fatigue resultant from a malaligned self-perception, fear - cold and disabling - which had been born in a perception of friendships losing momentum and depth, and from a waning spiritual life, spawned a gale-force wind. A blast that thrust together a weakness of mind, soul, and body, creating the perfect conditions for a devastating emotional typhoon.

I am primarily a relational person. Others may be known as athletic, musical, political, mechanical, technological, artistic, charismatic, industrious, smart, crafty, jocular (that’s one of my favorite words...), or an array of other descriptions which come from a skill set based on personal values. However, I have always been a relationship person. Though I have dallied with attempts to distinguish myself through other ventures, I have always considered my core personality type to be relational. I even took a bit of pride in being a “good” friend. That self-definition created in me a kind of magnetic compass point which usually gives me clarity in the midst of rain showers and storms.

Some people have the ability to separate church and friendship. While I have friends with whom I share church and friends with whom I do not, experience has taught me that friendship is rarely (and by rarely I mean only once) ever maintained after someone departs from a congregation in which I pastor. Oh, I have tried - sent out correspondence, called to have coffee, and the like. But it turns out that it makes people uncomfortable to talk to the pastor of a church they once attended. So, someone leaving the congregation that I pastor is a lightning strike at the core of my self - every time. I love both friend and church. And, I link both.

I have heard that someone is leaving the church that I pastor on the heels of a proclamation of commitment. In a recent case, over months and months I had been reassured through many situations that my friends were deeply committed to our church and to me and that they weren’t going to forsake either. (Notice how even friends who are not pastors link the church to their firendship with the pastor,) Then a call out of the blue. [lightning peel] In another case just 9 days before the call, a determined statement “we are not leaving because God put us here.” Or more typically, “I’m just so glad that I’m at this church, I don’t know what I would do without you all...” Phone call. [lightning peel] During the dreadfully dark storm of depression, any and all compliments took on the fearful characteristic of a threat. It seemed that any kind words were a preamble to a departure and loss of friendship. And No matter how good my pastor face, I’m sure my cool, protected response pushed people away and added turmoil to the tempest.

Inside the cruel sky screamed at me in thunder rolls, “you don’t really have friends,” “you’re a bad friend,” “your only a pastor to them - and you better produce,” “you’re not a good friend and you’re not a good pastor,” “whatever you do is destined to fail because you are aren’t good at either thing.” The deafening sound of thunderous self-critique struck new blows like a 1 - 2 punch to the gut followed with an upper-cut. Round after round, month after month the fight drug on. The losing fight drug on, punctuated with hopeful days of clear-skied fighting back, until God’s miraculous intervention brought skies of cobalt again to rule the days.

News of lost friendship in the form of church transition struck me hard in the heart of Britain. And while daylight holds off the dark of night long in Her Majesty’s realm, darkness swept in swiftly for me that un-foggy day in London towne - just past 1 year after the deadly blog post.

The Apparent Pilgrim - 1 Simplicity Defined

2011-03-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

Like the word "love", everyone seems to have a personalized definition of the word, "simplicity." Since we talked about it on Sunday as part of our discussion of LIVING THE BLESSED LIFE, I thought it might serve well to plumb a little more deeply into the subject here.

Answers.com gives us the following definitions of the word simplicity:

The property, condition, or quality of being simple or uncombined.
Absence of luxury or showiness; plainness.
Absence of affectation or pretense.

Lack of sophistication or subtlety; naiveté.
Lack of good sense or intelligence; foolishness.
Clarity of expression.
Austerity in embellishment.

Wikipedia Gives us this description of the ideal of simplicity as a lifestyle:

Simplicity is a theme in the Christian religion. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, God is infinitely simple. The Roman Catholic and Anglican religious orders of Franciscans also strive after simplicity. Members of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) practice the Testimony of Simplicity, which is the simplifying of one's life in order to focus on things that are most important and disregard or avoid things that are least important.

Current culture has made simplicity very popular (in some circles) as an effort to rescue the planet. There are many movements to this affect. However, Christian simplicity is never an end. It is a means. Christians simplicity is a means to aid us in the renewal of the closeness with God that is best represented in the life described to us in the Garden of Eden. When, before the fall, mankind experienced the ideal relationship with God. As Genesis puts it, "they felt no shame." God was creator, source, and judge in the garden. Adam and Eve had clear roles and unencumbered relationship with one another and with God. The garden life was a simple life (not easy, necessarily). Not because it was boring and they had nothing to do. Not because it was empty and they had nothing to possess. It was simple because it was clear. Everyone knew their role, their reason, their relationship. All parties involved had clarity and closeness with one another. The Christian habit of simplicity is a means to aid us in regaining that clarity and closeness.

Since the fall from garden living, mankind has had an ever-growing propensity toward complexity. We plan, scheme, prepare, implement all kinds of activity for ourselves, looking to "gain" blessing (soul-deep happy fulfillment). And all of our schemes and plans fail to provide a sustaining joy. So, we move on to plan and scheme for more acquisitions and accomplishment to provide that sense of blessing that we are missing. All the while, adding layer and layer of complexity to our lives. New responsibilities, new goals, new debts and obligations, new contracts, new activities on the agenda... And our minds are so cluttered with ideals of blessing that clutter and complicate life through the acquisition of things, money, and accolades, that many of us never experience soul-deep happy fulfillment. Because we are less clear about who we are, who God is, and how to relate to one another and to God in shameless relationship.

But, Jesus entered the realm of His creation to bring the Kingdom of God. And on a hillside in Palestine he delivered a sermon describing a lifestyle of decluttered objectivity. One in which principles long accepted by humans as wise and right are turned upside down and backwards in order to uncover simplicity and truth beneath the surface of things. (See Matthew 5, 6, & 7 - an easy read for a simple evening at home.) It is clear that the Kingdom of God is a kingdom that has been redeemed from the human philosophies that rule the fall from garden living. It is clear that redemption is a re-establishment of garden relationships. It is clear that simple living is the best environment for kingdom living. Christian simplicity is a means to aid us in our pursuit of the communion presence of God which was best experienced in garden living. Blessed living in its truest definition.

In an unfolding experience of inspiration from God's Spirit I have been given a fresh vision. I see in front of me a road to travel. It is a road that seems a bit rocky at first, but a few feet ahead of where I stand the road both becomes level and straight. However, just as it does it fades from my view. I do not know where exactly this road will take me or what the journey will look like, but I know it is my road. I know I will know what I need to know as I travel. I know it is the kingdom road for me. I know that I will not journey alone, but in closeness with God and with my fellow travelers. I know that this journey will take me into clarity and closeness and that it begins with simplicity. And so, I am inviting you travel with me on this road. I will begin a new blog series on the idea of Christian simplicity. I hope that it will be a discussion with your input as you travel along side me. I hope that together we can take hold of a life a clarity and closeness, "seeking first the kingdom of God." Look for installments at the end of each week.

Random Dissonance 3 - Scattered Showers

2011-03-01T15:17:00.000-08:00

Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent. It is plain and simple reduction of feeling... People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's d#*n hard to smile.

Judith Guest

To have passed through the storm of deep and lasting depression and come out on the other side brings a great deal of circumspect to one's life. Today I stood in the middle of a grassy field, bathed in uninterrupted sunlight, basking in the warmth of restoration, and allowing the sun drenched heat to sink into my bones - far beyond my skin, down to the deepest parts of me. I am well. I am well and I refuse to take it for granted. I am well and I will not waste this wellness on pointless busy-ness. I am well and well-pleased to thank God for my wellness. I thank God that He spoke into my storm and said once and for all, "peace." And the storm became still. The storm became still and the clouds - once maverick and malicious - began to drift away, out of my sight and beyond my horizon.

Before my storm I stood in the bath of wellness and did not know (with any particular awareness) that what I had was a gift. So I took that gift and I used it. I used it up and I abused it. I treated it much as early American land owners treated their slaves. I owned it without regard for it's significance or grandeur. I took advantage of my wellness and never felt any regard for the damage I did to it. I felt myself generous when I invested wee hours in prayer, reflection, meditation, or any other such method of care. Like a slave owner considered himself exceedingly generous to give a large family of African slaves a single chicken with which to celebrate Christmas, I thought my investments - meager and emaciated - to be something magnanimous and noteworthy. I took pride in my paltry investment. I was a fool.

While I was ignoring the gift that nurtured me, fed me, made me rich - there were clouds gathering on the horizon. Instead of seeing those clouds for the impending storm that they were, I ignored the clouds and scattered showers as if they were so insignificant that I could not be affected by them. My wellness in tact, I did not know the threat that these rain-sprays represented. I did not know that they could join together like the allied forces of an enemy attacker. But, like terrorists they would indeed sneak into my midst under the radar and infiltrate my heart, mind, spirit, and my physical body. And these clouds would deliver a devastating blow... These scattered showers, with well-coordinated cunning were soon to crash into my life like a fuel laden airliner into a steel scraper. And they would nearly melt my frame from the inside.

"That one looks like Thomas the Tank Engine," said elder child with all the sugar that one can only possess at the age of 2. In the tender days of childhood, cotton like clouds take on the form of our favorite things. My life filled with childhood whimsy, this time as the parent and not the child, I have often found myself looking for favorite forms in the white billows of precipitation that bound across the big skies of Central California farmland. And with uninfected innocence I watched clouds laced with nuclear rain drift into my emotional and spiritual environment. Instead of recognizing them for the threat they presented, I childishly stared at the sky with unconcerned naivete.

I cannot now look back and clearly identify which cloud bore which name as they drifted into my life. I cannot say that I first felt the rain of overwork, or overconfidence, or sadness. And I am not sure that I can even yet identify each cloudy rain burst by its true name. But some, I can see clearly. Some I recognize as the ingredients of a terrorist storm.

Falling gently, like a drizzle in my soul, these are the things that floated into my life and, unattended, joined forces to imprison me in depression. What seemed like determination and dedication turned into overwork without warning. A little less sun. What appeared to be visionary resolution morphed into blinded overconfidence. A little less sun. There began a small shift in spiritual disciplines, from a fluid daily conversation with Almighty, finding moments in scripture, prayer, reflections, and meditation. My spiritual life became a stilted regimented responsibility, motivated by 'keeping up appearances' instead of empowered by closeness with Everlasting. The rain drops graze my skin. People once deeply connected to our congregation and to me leave. Showers become storms. Friendships silently wane, weaken, and teeter on the edge of ruination. I make mistakes, owning all of the fault. An infectious dissatisfaction invades the congregation I am devoted to. Wailing winds blow torrential streams in horizontal rainfall while the bleak, black clouds surround. And at first it doesn't seem that I am being smothered. Instead I am embraced. And I embrace the clouds.

This storm eventually becomes poisonous when the whisper of the gale tells me I'm no good, nothing will work, there's no hope. And I believe it. Then every effort and every attempt is infected with depression: infected and doomed.

I am well, sun-bathed, and hearty. I can now share the story of my storm. Some of you have sent me messages expressing parts of your own story of depression. Some of you, like me, are in roles of Christian leadership and have felt 'required' to suffer your storm in silent solitude. I hope that in some small measure my story breaks the bondage of that loneliness, frees you to feel God's generous love, and connects you to the smile He smiles over you. Love rejoices in the truth and these small installments are the unfolding truth of my experience. Rejoice! The truth sets us free. Free from shame and loneliness. If you have never been through depression, be patient. The story may seem to unfold too slowly for you, but it would be unfair to those of us who have lived through stories like this one to tell this one as if it were a 20-minute sitcom, with all of its plot complications settled in a single episode. Smile. Smile because God is in the valley of the shadow of death with His rod and staff to comfort. He is following us with goodness and mercy. And on the other side of that valley, the sun shines brightly in fields of grass, soaking us through with warmth and peace, hope and freedom.

Random Dissonance 2 - The Storm I Should Have Seen Coming

2011-02-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

[Jesus] said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is... You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time? Luke 12:54ff

"Planting a church isn't for wimps!" That is what I would always say. I still say it. Only now, when I do I kind of feel like one of those wimps to whom I once gave such flippant reference. Honestly, it stings to say it now. It stings like a venomous puncture from the tail of one of those wasps that used to nest in the junipers that lined the street in front of my childhood home. It stings because I sometimes wonder if I am talking about myself. So I say it less. But it's still true, so I do say it.

At the end of the second year of our church plant and more than a year before I would surrender to the imprisoning clouds of depression, we had a fantastic idea for a Good Friday worship gathering. It seemed that is was not just our idea, but it seemed to be inspired by God Himself. I was thrilled to see it coming. If darkness describes my emotions those painful mornings in bed, then brilliant specter had to define my mood that Friday afternoon. Albeit splendor punctuated with the panic of meeting our deadline and the anxiety of wondering if anyone would show up to the worship gathering to experience all that we were laboring to provide, our creative team was excited to both produce the event and participate. The sense that God would meet people there and gift them liberally with His ample love and grace both compelled us forward like a tractor beam in a science fiction movie, and inspired our hopes like beams of light that extend from a single candle's flame, slowly and gently revealing unexpected treasures of increasing brilliance and value. That titillating anticipation was a bloom sown in the soil of a lot of physical and mental effort.

Physical and mental effort are definitely not uncommon to anyone who is part of a newly planted church. Our church plant, like so many others, still does not have it's own facilities. We meet in a school. This situation is one that I love and one that I sometimes dread. There are a few moments in the life of this small town boy, turned big city scholar, turned home town pastor that bring incredible joy. Being with someone at the moment they are able to verbalize their faith in Christ, performing the marriage of two Christ-followers who have done all of the hard work to know and follow God's will in their relationship, offering up a child in prayerful dedication to God's purpose just to name a few. But there are a couple of other moments that bring another kind of delight. The kind of delight that my mother described to me once when she told me that she didn't experience any feeling better than the feeling of having all of her children sleeping under her roof: safe, close, together. There is an unparalleled delight to seeing God's people together. There are some moments when a gathering of Christ-followers seems to erupt into noisy and blissful friendship. I love those moments when everyone truly enjoys one another. And that same deep satisfaction comes when a group of Christ-followers join their efforts together in shared service and good ol' fashioned hard work; and they love the task for the blessing of sharing it. There are times on Sunday mornings, when we set up church from a trailer, that those last two moments of pastoral glee converge. And then, I LOVE being a church planter, meeting in a school.

As the Good Friday gathering began and people arrived, all appeared to be on track for a stunning fulfillment of all that we had anticipated. Then, as if I was looking through a tunnel-like void, similar to Hollywood's rendition of a black hole in space, I saw something that I did not expect. I saw a couple, new to our congregation. This was not part of the portrait that I had meticulously painted for the event. I had not overseen any strategy to make sure that new people were either welcomed properly or integrated into the collective experience. And sure enough, as I kept my eye on them through the evening to track their engagement in the event, the moments when our congregation reached out to welcome them escaped my scrutiny. I talked myself into calm for the sake of making it through the evening. And that's about as far as I made it... through the evening. By the time the event concluded and the gymnatorium was cleaned & reorganized for Sunday's Easter gathering, thoughts of failure attacked my brain like an infestation. Dread put it's strangle hold on my heart. And fear took my soul captive. I was in so much agony, because I was convinced that my observation was an indication of looming failure for this mission to which I had sold my self. After two years of life-hijacking focus on ministry, physical fatigue, mental strain, emotional exhaustion, and diminishing spiritual stamina had drained me of my defenses like a leach sucks blood. I didn't see it happening, but the vision that once brought me vitality and focus had become strain, drain, and pain. Clouds were engulfing me. And like cataracts steal vision from a healthy eye beneath, this perfect storm of emotion was robbing me of the joy I had always had in ministry. I should have seen the storm coming!

When the deepest part of night fell and I went to bed, sleep eluded me. The darkness of night covered the sky but the the full moon's brilliant glow seemed to have the lumens of a WWII air strike search light with all of its beams focused on me. My eyes wide-peeled, I succumbed to the multi-layered attack on my senses. I got up out of bed and went to the computer to try to organize my thoughts... OK, that's the white-washed version. I got up and went to the computer to get it out, to unload. And I dropped that load like a manifestation of the Manhattan Project. What had begun as fatigue from believing that the success of our church plant relied on my leadership ability, my organization, my pastoral skill, my spiritual prowess, my personal charisma, and endless hours of dedication to prove my worth, was swirling inside my soul like a vat of nuclear activity, churned by a cartoon super-villain and nearing the point of critical mass. An explosion was on the very cusp of the horizon. I sat down at the computer and typed out all my fears of failure and my anxiety. And, I was not careful enough to protect the innocent. Then, I did the most regrettable thing of my ministry life. I posted that rant on a now-deleted blog. The nuclear waste expelled, night came like a cozy comforter and wrapped me in wanton sleep. But morning was coming, and the explosion of that blog post was about to reap destruction in more places than just my inner-life.

While I had never bothered to notice the dark dread-filled clouds of fatigue mounting in my sky, there was no missing the radiation cloud that followed that blog post. It was the fallout that inevitably follows all such eruptions of nuclear poison. It was harm, dropping like nuclear rain in the lives of so many of the people who surrounded me as faithful friends. And it opened up the skies to an even greater storm that would eventually plunge me into depths of dark feelings I have never before known.

Garden of Eden: Not So Perfect?

2011-02-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

I mentioned this topic in passing on Sunday morning, as we began our study of the blessed life. I do intend to delve into it more on future Sundays, but may not be able to give it full attention in any case. Here is, not necessarily a full treatise but a good starting essay.

Was the Garden of Eden perfect? I don't think so.
1. I'm not thinking that perfection is possible outside of Heaven.
2. The serpent was present in the garden. And with him must have come his killer, destructive instinct.

When Jesus taught us how to pray, He taught us to ask the Father that His will should be done... NOT "as it once was in the Garden of Eden." Instead Jesus pointed to Heaven as the permanent residence of both God and the enactment of His unblemished will.

Before we were introduced to the serpent in that undeniably splendid garden, Genesis portrays to us a very important fact about life in the garden.

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. Genesis 2:19-20

I hope that you have noticed that the imperfect will of man has been allowed to affect the outcome of things in the garden of God's making. Yes, even though the garden was a haven where God could apparently physically experience friendship with His creation, His willingness to give humanity a role, any role, in it's dominion doomed the sanctum to a state of less-than-perfection. It certainly cannot be argued that Adam was in any form a perfect man. Romans paints Adam as a literary and literal foil for the one truly perfect man - Jesus. Adam's imperfection and the allowance of his will in the dominion of the garden therefore preclude perfection from defining the state of being in the original sanctuary of God with man.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned... if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ... Romans 5:12 & 15
Additionally, the serpent's presence in the garden again calls into dispute any idea that the garden was perfect. Let's point out that in our account of Eve's encounter with the serpent, Eve conversed with the creature quite confidently. Perhaps talking snakes were commonplace then and there, but how many had the spiritual constitution to discuss the commands of God with the humans? No, I don't think we can really assume that this conversation was the first interaction that the original humans had with the crafty beast. Nor does it seem contextually fair to assume that the legged snake navigated one of the surrounding rivers moments before that conversation and slinked directly to the center of the garden for a 1-time interaction that would result in cataclysmic fall.

You see, I don't believe that Eden was designed to be perfect. Or that it was the original "Heaven on Earth." No, with just these two blows, the chance for perfection was beaten out of Eden with crushing strength. I believe Eden was designed to be ideal. And that is a far different goal than perfection.

Eden was the ideal location and environment for God to commune with the creation He so desperately loved. Ideal for walking, talking, leading, correcting, affirming, teaching, loving. Eden was created to embrace God's purpose for His creation: communing in close relationship and grace-filled love. That does not, never has, and never will, require perfection. The Garden of Eden was ideal: ideal for communing experience of friendship between God and humans.

Oh, let's not confuse righteousness with perfection... or the perfection of faith with human perfection. Adam and Eve's righteousness was imparted to them in the covenant they had with God in the confines of the garden, like the righteousness of Israel was imparted to them by the covenant they had with God in the tabernacle & temple practices, and like our righteousness is imparted to us in the sacrifice of Christ.

Back to Eden. Back to Ideal. Back to practicing the communing presence of God, imperfect as we are. Imperfect as our now-fallen world is.

Random Dissonance - Through the Clouds

2011-02-15T12:33:00.000-08:00

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."
- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

As I sit typing at my computer in the waning moments of this winter morning, I am enjoying brilliant sunlight and the shocking warmth of a 48 degree day. It has been 3 weeks since the persistent clouds first cloistered the sun in their prison. The light of the sun seems too bright for my fair eyes to withstand. The warmth, shocking for my bare arms. The revelations of daylight both painful and pleasurable at once.

I'm writing today from the light of day. On the other side of dark clouds that once enshrouded my mind, my spirit, and my body. For 18 months I was blanketed in depression, covered in shame, wrapped in fear, and lost in a fog that seemed to kidnap me from the truth that I know. Depression stole from me the ability to connect truth and reality to spirit and mind.

It was Spring. It was about 10AM. The kids were already at school and I had not kissed their tender forehead or spoken words of love and affirmation to them to nourish their day. I was cocooned in the blankets, blinds closed, pillow over my head when my bride came in to say her goodbyes as she set off on some errands for that day. I heard the frustration in her voice as she unfolded her plans to me and ultimately asked me how long I was going to let this last. (This was not the first morning which I had wasted, languishing in the darkness of a bedroom-turned-catacomb.) "People are asking me what's wrong with you and I don't know what to say." She encouraged me to get some time with God while she was gone and to find someone I wanted to talk to about it. But I followed neither of her suggestions. Instead I embraced the fog, settled under the blankets and the clouds, and I allowed the numbness to engulf me.

There in the dark, numb fog of my soul, I thought about my despair. I thought about it and wondered why I felt such despair. I was angry that I was feeling it. I was mad at myself, mad at the world, and perplexed by God. I thought about my situation and I reasoned with myself that none of my reasons for such dark feelings were either reasonable or legitimate. But there they were. Then I tried to think of something else, but hidden under the camouflage of every other thought were thoughts of anxiety, darkness, dread, and despair. They were becoming friends... Perhaps that is not the word I wish to use of them. Companions. Fellows. Always with me, they tainted every thought and activity. They brought poison to my heart, mind, and soul. Definitely not my friends, they remained ever with me none the less. So I thought of how I felt, and I felt no better because of doing so.

When I finally showered and dressed that day, I made a critical decision. I decided to not let anyone suffer with me. I would keep my depression and anxiety to myself. "After all, I'm a husband, father, and pastor. People need me and I owe it to them to keep up a brave front while I work this out," I reasoned with myself under the drenching flood of the warm shower that could warm my skin but couldn't sooth my mind or my heart. So, that was the last day I stayed in bed. The last day I wore my dark emotions on my face. I learned to put on my smile. I created a new laugh. One that was almost convincing. I dug down deep for the words of truth that used to resonate with my mind and spirit, but that now only rung out of my memory and were spoken by shear will to do no more harm. But of course I did do more harm... Harm is the poisonous blossom that buds on the many branches of depression.

I am not a medical expert and have not undertaken to study all of the physiological ramifications of depression on the human mind. I am not sure that I will even be able to illuminate any deep-reaching spiritual realities as related to depression. But I do have a story to tell. It is my story. And I pray that by telling it I am able to walk more fully in the light of day, beyond the foggy veil of depression's dark clouds. I pray that by reading it others may come closer to the break of day in their own struggle. I pray that God will smile on us from His unbridled pleasure with the truth. I pray that we will feel His smile and be warmed and renewed by His delight.

Window on a conversation with God

2011-02-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

I was driving on Wednesday and fretting as I did... This seemed a perfect time to unload my anxiety on God. If you were looking through my windshield, here is the conversation you would have spied, with your spiritual eyes and ears, as you did.

I said: "God, please God, please deliver me. Take care of me. Protect me. I'm so worried that things will not work out and that we will fall flat."

God:

Me: "Should I pursue the financial help that epic needs from ____________________?"

God:

Me: "I know that if I asked him, he would agree. Should I ask him?"

God:

Me: "Are you telling me not to do it, or are you telling me that I have the right idea and I don't need your further instructions?

God:

Friday, I was driving again. And again I was fretting. And again it was about finances. Here's how that conversation went.

Me: God, I know that if I talk to him, the need will be fully met.

God: Do you want to do that?

Me: I don't know. I mean, I don't mind doing it. But I don't fell right about it yet. I want you to make me feel right about it.

God: If you want to do it... do it.

Me: That doesn't make me feel right.

God: If you want for feel right, let me do what I am already doing.

Me: Why do I still feel worried then?

God: You don't trust me.

Me: How long do I have to wait to see the need met?

God:

Me: How long?

God:

Me: So, should I call him?

God: If you want what I can do... wait for what I do. If you want what you can do... don't wait.

Me:

God: You don't trust me.

Me: God, thank you for this sun that is shining, this road that is paved, this car that starts and runs and stops, this comfortable pair of shoes. Thank you for dimples on daughter, smiles on sons, warmth in my home... I trust you.

God: You trust me with you, but you need to trust me with the congregation.

Me:

God: Will you?

Me: God, thank you for faithful friends who pray when I am down, for servants who serve even when it's not fun, for lights and speakers, for bulletins and Bibles. Thank you for cooks and servers. Thank you for chairs and those who stack them. Thank you for prayer warriors who make it all possible. Thank you for partners who love their neighbors. Thank you for life groups. Thank you for givers... Thank you for givers...

God: You're welcome.

Me:

Me: OK, so I shouldn't call him?

God:

Making Good - SOAR 3

2011-01-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

I read this quote in my quiet time recently. It bears sharing.

"While we are busy trying to make sense out of God,
God is busy making good out of us."

Reflections on Romans 8:28.
I hope this little thought gives you peace and helps you soar.

(Thanks to Dark Blade Studio for the image.)

SOAR 2 - Prayer

2011-01-14T10:44:00.000-08:00

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9)

If you are serious about stopping the frantic pace and getting free from the bondage of "measuring up;" if you want to soar on the wind of the Spirit instead of flapping your wings on your own limited strength, then prayer is necessary.

Look at this entire passage. Peace, rejoicing, positive mind-set, gentleness: all of these things come from prayer. However many of us who follow Christ still do not experience these things because our prayer life is either not consistent or not faith-filled. In my estimation, this particular passage provides solutions for most Christ followers when it comes to a prayer life that seems ineffective.

Verse 6 begins with a primary flight lesson for people who wish to soar. "Do not be anxious about anything." Worry is a choice. When we have troubling or difficult information, we can choose our response. This is not to say that we will not have emotions connected to situations. But when we have bad feelings, or even experience fear, worry does not have to be a result or that. Worry is one of our choices.

Many of us worry generally happens because we feel responsible for something AND somewhat powerless in regard to that something. In the conflict between those two realities, we experience worry/anxiety. Only when we trust God instead of taking responsibility and when we invite God to act in His power on our behalf can we divert our inclination toward worry. This is a process we have to learn, practice and commit to memory. When we make this a habit, worry loses its power.

Once we have chosen not to worry, our prayer becomes clear. One of my friends was recently told by a spiritual mentor to "stop prayer her anxieties." The point was that praying from anxiety/worry is a negative prayer that cannot gain positive momentum. In fact that kind of prayer encourages either backward spiritual movement or no spiritual movement at all. A worry-free prayer become clear and gains 'loft' or forward momentum to help us soar.

An eagle soaring on the wind has to worry about how it will arrive from here to there. It experiences peace because of its intrinsic reliance on the power of the wind. Prayer equips us to have the same kind of intrinsic trust. Faith-filled prayer equips us with supernatural peace to soar.

Stop now and pray. But first choose to put your situation in God's hands and to see it from His perspective. See it a smaller than Him and less powerful than Him. Then pray from confidence in God's plan to do good to you, for you, and through you. Then, let your confident prayer reside in the front of your awareness as you go through your day. Keep that prayer in front of your mind and keep it lifted before God in everything that you do. Feel His peace and power. Soar.

How to Soar 1 - Reliance on the Holy Spirit

2011-01-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we talked about the difference between hummingbirds and eagles. Hummingbirds flap insanely working to stay afloat and flitting about from place to place. And soaring eagles spread their wings and and allow themselves to be carried by the wind. And the wind lifts them high into the sky above the flitting wings of the hummingbirds below.

The Holy Spirit of God wants us to soar above the situations and struggles that seem to hold us down. And He wants to lift us there.

I'm gonna post some scripture reflections throughout the week to help us put on wings for soaring.

Today I want to look at Luke 3:16. (Yes that's right Luke, not John)

John said, "I baptize with water, but one is coming who is more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."

It is often overlooked that giving the Holy Spirit was a primary emphasis of Christ's life. But at the close of His life, Jesus said, "it is good for you that I will go away, because when I go the Holy Spirit will come." Now the Holy Spirit has not been absent in the history of the world. He was there above the waters before God made order of our world. Isaiah recognized that the Holy Spirit had anointed him and was on him. David was so overcome with joy in the Spirit that he danced before the Lord. Jesus was not talking about the arrival the Holy Spirit. He was talking about a new relationship with the Holy Spirit. A relationship of baptism.

The work baptize in its origin simply means "to dunk under." It was not a religious word prior to its use in the NT. It was simply a common verb used for the mundane things of life like dunking the clothes in the rive to wash them. The idea of the word is immersion. Completely covered and filled.

On the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit made Himself known to the disciples in the upper room, He came with the sound of wind and the appearance of fire. (This is a good time to reread our verse, listed above.)

The primary resource in our lives for soaring is the Holy Spirit. In fact the only resource.

To soar on the wind, we must be engulfed in the Spirit. We must learn to recognize His movement, sense His inspiration, identify His gentle nudging, know His care and direction.

An immersion in the Holy Spirit begins with an invitation. An immersion is cultivated by continual seeking through prayer, worship, and obedience. And an immersion is nurtured by reliance. Turn to the Holy Spirit for your information, your transformation, your inspiration, your confidence, your strength, guidance, and direction.

As soon as we choose other sources for our lives, we find ourselves flitting on the small overused wings of a hummingbird instead of the wide-spread wings of a soaring eagle.

Most of us choose the hummingbird because we don't want to slow down long enough to sense the Holy Spirit. So we get busy on our own strength and then we find ourselves worn out and discouraged because our own strength is waning.

Slow down at the beginning instead of dying out at the end.

First Reflections of 2011

2011-01-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

James 1:2-8

"God has everything to tell us and nothing to learn from us." Evelyn Underhill

As a Christian I believe that God speaks. I believe He speaks to us and that He seeks to guide us, use us, and express His love for us. I believe He speaks through ordinary experiences as well as extraordinary ones. I believe He speaks through the morning paper and the holy scriptures. I believe He speaks. I believe His voice is powerful. It is beautiful. It comforts and it distresses us.

As I have posted often in recent months, I believe a big problem with this is that our lives are too noisy to hear and see God. You see I have come to realize a couple of realities about hearing God's voice. God is heard by people who want to hear Him. When we want other things more than we want to hear God, or when we have made up our mind about something and want God's blessing instead of His guidance, or when we intend to use God instead of being used by Him, we are not going to hear Him well. Indeed, the most significant distraction from hearing God is our intentions. (see Luke 16:15; Acts 15:8; Romans 8:27)

But, we can hear Him. If we will learn to read the signs and recognize God's current movement. We need to learn from His historic activities, how to recognize His present movements. We need to practice his presence in our activity for Him - as well as in reading about Him, praying to Him and/or singing about Him. If we long for God to do miraculous things when we gather in our congregations on Sundays, we would benefit by being in tune with His supernatural activities all around us throughout the week.

God is also heard by people who obey Him. I think we like to hear God's voice when He says, "you are forgiven." We like to hear Him when He says, "you are loved," "you are special," "you are free," "you are gonna make it." We are not so likely to ignore those words from God's mouth. But I don't think we like to hear (or want to hear) Him say, "go and make disciples in your part of the ends of the earth." I don't think we want to hear Him say, "no." I don't think we want to hear Him say, "sell that and give what you receive to feed the needy." I don't think we want to hear Him say anything about our money, and we're not so keen about what He wants to tell us about the way we spend our time either. I think we seek affirmation instead of guidance and so we don't hear Him.

It is beautiful when the people of God desire to hear Him so that we can understand our lives and times and so that we can obey Him. If we will reject the idea that there are special times for hearing God and hear in continually in the working out of our daily lives there will be a magnificent light in world illuminating God's work and words to us. If we will trust that God's guidance is better than our best idea, our ears will be miraculously unplugged. And if our heart will continually be in the state of asking "what do you want in this matter, in my life, in Your church?" we will indeed hear God.

Father to the Heavenly Father

2010-12-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

Since posting about Mary's act of worship yesterday, my thoughts have turned to Joseph's worship and God's calling on Joseph's life. When talking about worshipping fully and thinking about Joseph, Joseph's act of worship was the act of obedience.

Matthew 1:24 - "When Joseph awoke, he did exactly what the angel had instructed him to do." EXACTLY!!! That's so important. As a parent I try to teach my children that delayed obedience or partial obedience is not obedience at all! That is a principle that I need to incorporate more into my spiritual life. And Joseph shows us how obedience is worship.

Jesus tells us in John 14 that if we love Him we will obey all that he teaches us. (Did you notice that word all? I did.) God loves us and gave Himself up for us. And we love God and obey Him. Obedience is not some bargaining tool with God. It is not some means of appeasement of God to keep Him at a distance. And it does not have to be forced on us or given out of fear either. It can be and IS a loving response to His love for us - that indeed brings Him closer. The Holy Spirit teaches us through the Apostle Paul in Romans 12 that offering our lives as living sacrifices is our spiritual act of worship. That is to say that we sacrifice ourselves to God's instructions, living by them as an act of worship!!! Obedience is loving worship!

I could get stuck there, preaching, pretty easily. And in fact, I did for a minute there. And my point is really somewhere else today.

So, I am thinking about Joseph and the fact that God chose him as an earthly father. Now, this is not a new thought to me, but the depth of it seems newly significant today.

God is the eternal Father in Heaven. All fathers, everywhere on earth are by virtue of being human inferior fathers in comparison to the fatherhood of God. But in God's plan to come to earth and save us He needed a father. And He chose Joseph.

What about this man would inspire God to choose Joseph has His protector, provider, spiritual guide through childhood, teacher, discipliner, instructor, and nurturer? I mean God who Himself knows fatherhood better than any of us has the opportunity to choose his own earthly father and because He is God would have made the perfect choice. That choice was Joseph!

And here is just about all we know about Joseph. He was likely a carpenter. He was from Nazareth in Galilee. He was from the lineage of King David. And then we have two glimpses into his character. As mentioned above, we see that he knew how to obey God. Or could we conclude that he loved God enough to obey Him? Was it this kind of love that made God choose Joseph for the role of earthly father to the Heavenly Father?

But there is one more glimpse into his character. In Matthew 1:19 we are told that Joseph, when made aware of Mary's apparent infidelity had decided not to accuse in public - exposing her to the death penalty. Instead he had decided to divorce her quietly 'to protect her from public disgrace.' And we see that Joseph was a grace-filled man. Grace filled!

Of all the descendants of King David, when God was choosing a suitable dad for Himself, grace-filled, obedient Joseph was the one man to make the cut. And the world was changed because in these ways Joseph made himself available to be used by God.

I wonder what God could do through you and me if we engendered more of these character traits in our own lives. I wonder how our neighborhoods, workplaces, friendships, and families could be transformed if we did.

Have a Joseph Christmas too!

I had to add one more image... As a dad, I really love this idea of Joseph with Jesus.

The Worship of Submission

2010-12-14T13:01:00.000-08:00

We're talking about worshipping fully this Christmas. Of all the things the manger inspires, worship tops the list. I mean, the fact that God came to me... revealed Himself to me... announced it to me... became flesh like me... made His dwelling place with me... It is incredible (in the literal definition of the word)! And yet it is the central truth of Christianity. He did!

An authentic trip to manger makes consumer products so trivial, twinkling lights so dim, festive trees so uninspiring. An authentic trip to the manger makes worship what Christmas is all about.

I like Mary's expression of worship. This past Sunday we talked about Mary's worship along with the worship of Joseph and of the magi. And all week long I have been pondering the incredible example that Mary give us. Mary's worship came primarily in the form of submission.

Luke 1:38 - Mary says, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."

Submission to God's will. God's will would cost her dearly. It would taint the girlhood dreams of marriage for her. It would mark her for all of her life as the subject of the local gossip. It would put her in danger of the death penalty... There is no way that God's will looked good to Mary at the time she heard it. In fact, her question about how this could be because of her virginity, reveals that she knew what accusation lay ahead for her. And yet, submission is what she offered. She set aside her will and embraced God's will. her heart was turned and her actions followed.

When our actions are turned but our hearts are not, we are merely being religious. But Mary shows us how obedience and worship are joined in the act of submission. When heart and action are coupled, it is worship!

This submission of the heart is very difficult. Like Mary, we must first hear God's will. This requires us to study and meditate. We must learn to incorporate listening into our daily quiet time habit. We must become familiar with the still small voice of our God, so as to avoid any misinterpretation of our own desires for God's desires. AND THEN, we must give up what we want for what God wants. It would be so nice to give up things we don't like for things that God wants for us, but the problem is that we must often give up the things we do like: comfort, privilege, respect, finances, fun. Often God's way includes difficulty, struggle, sorrow, hard work. It's hard to get inspired to worship this way. It's way easier to go and sing exciting songs with a rockin' band and dance to the thrilling rhythms of amazing music and to walk away without thinking about God's will for the next day.

Mary's way was the hard way. Mary's way would be reflected in the teaching that Jesus would give us when He taught us to pray, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." 'Thy will be done.' The submission in that is so often lost. We think about God's will in terms of the greater story of the planet and not in the personal way of surrendering our own desires to His will.

Mary's way was the hard way. Mary's way would also be reflected in the obedience of Christ when He said, "if it is possible for this cup to pass from me, let it be so. Never the less, NOT MY WILL, BUT THY WILL BE DONE." (Can you tell that when I went to Sunday School the KJV was the version du jour?) Yes, that is worship. In that worship God can do things. In that worship God is lifted up. In that worship all men can be drawn to God. Yes the worship of submission is the worship that is central to the Christian experience and theology.

Mary Christmas!
Let's worship!

Check out this song that is written to reflect Mary's encounter with the angel Gabriel and her worshipful response to God's instructions to her. (if you want to get right to the song, skip ahead to 3:57.)

Sabbath - The Inspiration

2010-11-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

For 3 years now I have pondered the idea of establishing a true sabbath in my life. I mean - I rest. Sometimes I wonder if I am slothful because I rest everyday. But what about the sabbath?

Recently God has brought this notion back to the forefront of my thinking. During the summer, while visiting our friends Tyler and Dusti in Bellingham, WA (A BEAUTIFUL PLACE very near the Canadian border), we attended church with them. The pastor was returning to the preaching ministry after a prolonged sabbatical and he shared his story. In the sharing of his story he preached from the passage, 1 Thessalonians 4:11.

...and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you...

He mentioned the rhythm of life that God had prescribed for his people, the Jews: a weekly sabbath, annual feasts and fasts, and a 7 year cycle of taking an entire year off (if the ground was fallow, then the economy was fallow too). And my 2 year long pondering of the idea was rekindled with fresh attention. I wondered what the condition of the church might be like if God's people, the Christ-followers, actually had a day every week that was holy.

Then just this week my life group was talking about Galatians 3:1-14. (We have been studying the book of Galatians recently.) And in our core question of the night was, "How do we begin, in our own lives this week, to practice trust in the Spirit instead of trust in our human effort?" And Rhonda mentioned that a photography mentor had recently said that good photographers 'pause' because clarity comes in the pause. Rhonda said that she immediately knew this was a principle for Christian living. In other words, we know and experience God, gaining His insight, power, and guidance when we slow down and get away to listen to Him.

And it was the same morning that I was sitting at Starbucks with my friend JB talking about a spiritual dream he had earlier in the week. He said that he had been given a verse from Nehemiah in his dream, that it was spoken to him in his dream and he 'knew' that it was from Nehemiah. He didn't remember the verse, but he woke up with a fresh desire and commitment to press into God's activity in His life. So, right in Starbucks, we read the whole book of Nehemiah aloud together. He remembered the verse(s). They were a conglomerate of the passages that described the dedication of the rebuilt wall of Jerusalem, the confession of sins, the complete reading of the law of Moses for 7 days, and the worshiping of all the citizens along the tops of the walls. BUT, in our reading at the end of the book, when Nehemiah had gone back to his service of Babylonian King Artxerxes and then returned to Jerusalem, we read that Nehemiah had found the restored citizens of Jerusalem, THE PEOPLE OF GOD REDEEMED FROM EXILE, he found them living life without sabbath. And he chastised them, "wasn't it for this reason that God allowed you to be conquered to begin with."

Then, Rhonda brought the subject up for our household as we discussed our plans to rebuild our home's order after my return from the exile of depression. Hmmmmmmm.

And the question rose up in my heart again. What would the Kingdom of God look like today if God's people practiced a true sabbath. Not some legalistic observance of a rule that was part of a system that could not save or redeem. But, recognition that God is in the pause and to truly experience Him in His fullness, a rhythm of pause will benefit us. O, sure, we can continue exercising God's grace by putting the concerns of this world system ahead of the concerns of God. And God's grace will continue to be sufficient. But what about the Kingdom of God? What about the great commission? What about glorious church? What about offering our bodies as living sacrifices? Can we reach those objectives without a sabbath.

More and more I think not!

What are your thoughts on the subject?
Do you practice a Christian sabbath? If so, how do you do it and what have been the affects?

I'll be blogging more about this as I work it out in weeks and months ahead. Help me work it out by posting your thoughts as we go.

Knowing by Heart

2010-11-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

My new phone. WHAT A WONDERFUL THING... I must confess that I have avoided the new phone dilemma for quite some time, forcing myself to be satisfied with my functional phone of old. Recently, however, my FPOO (functional phone of old) stopped working. This is the second version of this phone that has stopped working in exactly the same way for me. Boooooooo Samsung! So it was time for a new phone. And I got a great one with all the bells and whistles...

My new phone. It still calls. It texts just as most phones now do. And it is a smart phone. REALLY SMART. It is so smart that it makes me feel dumb sometimes.

Now my FPOO was supposed to be smart, but when trying to load a mobile version of the Bible on it, I was always so dissatisfied that I never used that function. But my new phone is really smart and I have my Bible out at the whip of a finger. And I love it.

One of the things I have been doing with my new TSP (truly smart phone) is memorizing scripture. One of my pastoral confessions is that I have been a big fat failure when it comes to scripture memorization. Oh I can recite some pretty well. I actually know where to find a few. But for the most part, I don't have that much memorized. Pastoral Failure #762.

I recently came across this quote and it has motivated me to use my smart phone to become a smarter Christain.

"What a heart knows by heart is what a heart really know."

After coming through a prolonged season of discouragement and depression, I have to ask myself. "if my heart had been smarter abour scripture, whould I have believed the lies that plunged me into that darkness?"

So here it begins. Instead of bejeweled or solitaire during those down times in line, I will be tuning my phone into my heart-smartening Bible app for memorization. If you see me with my nose in my phone, ask me, "how's the memorization?" Test me even. I suppose a little accountability won't hurt me one little bit.

Hmmmmm! You Have to Wonder About That

2010-11-08T10:37:00.001-08:00

"I used to phone my best friend.
Now my phone is my best friend."

Crazy thought. Had to share it!

More about Luke 18:9-14

2010-11-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)

This is a great passage of scripture. Not only does it teach a meaningful lesson on living in God's Kingdom, it also shows us the powerful way that Jesus used words.

The obvious lesson of the parable is summed up in v. 14. Faith in the Kingdom of God is expressed in humility over sin, not in the pride of human piety. This past Sunday morning we discussed the real danger of pride. (We have been studying the Seven Deadly Sins for 6 weeks now.) It was great to look at this passage and others that urge us to keep an honest estimation of ourselves in relationship to God, and to 'consider others better than ourselves.'

One very interesting part of this passage that I didn't have time to bring out on Sunday morning is found in verse 11 where it says, 'the Pharisee stood and prayed about himself...' Notice that I emphasized the word 'about' in that sentence. The grammar of this sentence in it's original language makes this word very poignant. In fact the sentence has a double meaning.

You know how in Spanish, por que and porque mean why and because. And when they are spoken they sound exactly the same. When spoken, the Spanish words require context to distinguish between their meanings. Well so it is with the 'about' in verse 11 of Luke 18. The sentence does not give enough context clues to tell if it should most correctly read, 'the Pharisee stood and prayer about himself,' OR 'the Pharisee stood and prayed to himself.'

So to hear Jesus tell the story in His original context is to wrestle with the question, is Jesus condemning his pride in praying about himself or to himself? And the answer seems to be BOTH. For Jesus slyly equates the two. An obsession with self in prayer is, in practice, the same as the idolatry of making one's self out to be god.

While we may not be as obvious as the Pharisee in Jesus' parable, in so many ways we can be obsessed with ourselves in our prayers. I know that many times I get so caught up in what I need and want from God that my 'prayer' becomes as much centered on me as was the Pharisee's prayer centered on him. And so I rob God of His rightful place in my worship life and put myself there instead. And instead of being humbled by my sin and thankful for what I have already received from God (namely eternal life in His Kingdom), I pridefully ask for what I think I deserve from Him...

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner, and grant that I should learn to keep you in the center of my prayers and worship. Have mercy on me Lord.

NOISE - Fear

2010-10-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

Once again in our conversation about noise, the things that interfere and distract us from out vibrant relationship with Christ as followers, we address noise that comes from within. This time the noise is the sound of our own minds and hearts that convinces us to be afraid.

For Christians, fear comes in many forms. Some of us are afraid of making truly meaningful Christian friendships because we are sure that people, no matter how much they love Jesus are destined to hurt us. Some of us are afraid to worship in one particular style or another. I don't believe that this fear is actually about style as much as it is an expression of fear of true intimacy with God: either emotional closeness, or intellectual closeness, or even physical expressions that cause us discomfort. Maybe we fear praying aloud (or people's response to us doing it). Maybe we fear reading the Bible and studying because we don't feel like we're good students or because we think it takes some special skill to rightly interpret the Bible. But I think the noisy fear that grips most American Christians is the fear of sharing our faith with someone and/or inviting someone to respond to Christ's invitation to newness of life.

I know that I have had certain fears about it over my Christian experience. I have feared that I would do it wrong. I have feared that I was too wrong to do it. I have feared that it was the wrong time for someone. I have feared that I would be judged through the filter of the bad press Christianity sometimes gets. I have feared that if they rejected my invitation they would also reject me. I have feared that if I shared my faith in some circumstance that was deemed inappropriate, somehow my life would be completely derailed some official administrative committee somewhere.

I don't think that many of us would argue that it's not part of our Christian faith to be witnesses for Christ. In fact, most of us feel an obligation or responsibility to share our faith as part of our Christianity. However, our fear has become a louder noise in our head than our faith. In fact the noisy fear in our head has become more authoritative in our lives than the Biblical injunctions to be witnesses.

In the book of Joshua God warns his people against fear and instructs us to be bold and courageous. Now is the time for courage when it comes to Christians sharing their faith.

I recently read a statistic that listed the US as the third most "unreached" nation in the world. Whereas once the US was the leader in missionary sending, it is not quickly reaching the top of the list of missionary destinations for the rest of the world's Christians. And as far as I am concerned the real tragedy is this: the US is already full of missionaries. Every Christian here is a witness and a missionary. Unfortunately we are not bold or courageous. We are fearful and quiet.

Here is the good news. The Barna institute recently released a study that showed a few encouraging signs for American Christian missionaries (all of us who follow Christ). First, less than 1% of Americans think of Christians as offensive in their witness. That means that our perception of resistance to the gospel because of negative previous experience or pre-existing negative perceptions is inaccurate. Almost no Americans expect a negative experience in the witness of a Christian. Second, more that 1/4 of non-Christian Americans think that Christians have a positive effect on our country.

Perhaps it is time to take on our fear and silence the noise that keeps us silent. Perhaps its time to fulfill our missionary calling. Yes, we all have one. It's known as the great commission. Missionaries are not a subgroup of Christians who travel far and wide to establish foreign works. Every Christian IS a missionary right where we are. Some of us are just inactive in our calling.

Pray for your neighborhood. Commit to walking around your neighborhood 2x/month and just praying silently as you walk. Commit to make a friendship with someone in your neighborhood who is not an active Christian. And commit to look for an opportunity in that new friendship to share why you follow Christ actively.

Don't be afraid any longer.

"...I'm spiritual, not relgious."

2010-10-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

I've heard it. And I know that you've heard it too. It goes something like this, "I'm spiritual, but I'm just not religious." And sometimes this is a mantra for people who really don't want to address their wither their situations or their concepts of what being a Christian really means. But, sometimes it is something else all together.

I have more than one friend who is a genuinely faithful Christ-follower who loves God, worships Him, accepts the redemption and renewal of Jesus, believes the Bible and practices it's message as authoritative, and serves a global mission to express and live the gospel. But for some reason or reasons has found identity with the 'church,' as we currently know it, extremely difficult. And as such experiences faith and the practice of faith in an odd kind of public solitude.

This scenario is both painful and detrimental to me. And I suspect (well, I've seen and heard the symptoms of it) that it is painful to them. I'm sure that it is detrimental.

Christian faith is at it's core a collective experience. Yes, even salvation is a collective experience. It is a kingdom, body, family, experience. If we are to use Jesus' description of rebirth or spiritual birth, it is birth into a family (as birth always is). If we are to use the Apostle Paul's description of salvation, then it is a rescue mission, delivering one from a kingdom of darkness that is shared with those who are darkened. But also a deliverance into a new kingdom of light where light is lived out in a kingdom of light. A kingdom has always been a community. It was a city state where life was reliant upon the teamwork of a group of people who shared a geographic locality, and who lived under the protection of a regional land-holder. If we are to see redemption as our primary definition of salvation, then it is redemption from uselessness in a function that did not fit us into a function in a body that perfectly fits us. While we experience conversion on an individual basis, it is fundamentally a part of the life of Christ's community of believers. It is a shared experience.

And so the axiom, "spiritual but not religious," seems to me to epitomize a cataclysmic failure on our part, their part, on my part. This parsing of terms is a revelation of our failure to be a Christ-like community.

Unfortunately, I don't know that I can blog a singular entry that will propose a complete solution. Nor am I willing to suggest that I'm the right guy to fully identify the solution. I am only saying that our community needs improvement. Since I need improvement, we need improvement. (This is just one expression of the community experience.)

We must begin to do something to reunite these faithful ones with their community. We must reconnect with our lost sheep. (Not lost because they have become goats instead of sheep... but because they are not living in and with the fold.) There is a Christian expression that says that Satan looks for a vessel sailing with out a fleet. And so our current propensity toward isolation appears to be a Satanic endeavor.

Life together is a gift. It is not a curse or an obligation. It is a gift. It should seem as such. And something about our ability to accept one another, forgive one another, spur one another on to love and good deeds, to encourage one another, to pray for one another... something about these elements of Christian community must again become desirable. We must shed the deception of the enemy of our souls who wants to delude us/them into a modern individualism and separate us/them from God's kingdom, His family, His body. We must pursue wondering sheep, welcome them, love them, understand them, include them, rely on them. We must make Christian community a gift that we give to them and to ourselves. And we must preserve it.

It may seem uncomfortable as we begin to pursue it, but it will prove to be beneficial as we learn to live it.

I turn to Dietrich Bonhoeffer for one final thought. As he wrestled in Life Together with the practice of confession of sins to one another, he laid out these thoughts:

"The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God's Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother man as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation. He needs his brother solely because of Jesus Christ. The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain; his brother's is sure."

Christian community is a gift. As image bearers of God, our triune creator, we are made for relationship with one another. Christian community is a gift given to us by God. We dare not refuse it.

The Necessity of Christian Community

2010-10-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

“The experience of authentic community is one of the purposes God intends to be fulfilled by the church. The writings of Scripture lead one to conclude that God intends the church, not to be one more bolt on the wheel of activity in our lives, but the very hub at the center of one’s life…..” Randy Frazee - The Connecting Church

Growing up in Central California, I was very early in life introduced to the natural marvel of Giant Redwoods. There are 3 "giant" varieties on the planet, and 2 of them are natural residents of California. There are a ton of things about things about these trees that fascinate me. One of them is the root system.

As a rule of thumb, the height of a tree is generally comparable to the depth of it's roots. However, with a giant redwood, the roots are extremely shallow. There is a unique strength of the root system which allows these trees to reach the highest heights of any trees in the world and which feeds these giants enough nutrients to sustain them for thousands of years. The secret is that the roots of these giants are intertwined. And that is where the trees get the strength to become giants.

The church is designed in the very same way. Our strength is not found in our individualism, our personal fortitude, our singular accomplishment. It is found in the intertwining of our lives into a shared faith that extends our spirituality beyond what could be sustained by our individuality.

Of course, the ultimate strength of the church and of believers is in the strength of our Lord, Father, and Spirit God. But we cannot deny the zenith of God's plan is in the connectedness of His people: His church.
What does His Spirit do? He equips us to serve 'one another.'
What did Jesus do? He 'built his church,' not built his loosely connected web of folks who happen to have the same faith. It is the connected church that the gates of Hell cannot prevail against.
What has God always done? He has elected 'a people' to bear His name. Not a person...

As Frazee states above, meaningful friendships in a congregation are not one of the available activities provided on a menu of optional courses for an individual to order up when they are in the mood for that, and then to ignore when they are not in the mood. The community of Christians living life and faith in togetherness IS the church. It is our strength to bring our giftedness together.
It is our hope to bring our service together.
It is our inspiration to bring our offering of praise together.
It is our victory to bring our experiences together.
In all of these ways and in innumerable additional ways, God works in our togetherness.

It is a serious problem in the state of our American churches that togetherness has become so self-serving that when we are not in the mood or when we have more desirable activities available, we evaluate gathering for collective worship as not important... because it feels less important that what we want for ourselves at that moment.

But, in the unfolding plan of God, in the witness of the church, in the lives of others who also wear the name of Christ, in honor of God's name and fame - it is ultimately important. It is central in what makes us the church... what makes us Christian. Not because of the production that is planned for that gathering, but because of the unity of believers reaching the fullness of Christ together. See Ephesians 3.

"Let us not forsake the assembling together of the faithful, as some are in the practice of doing..." (Hebrews 10:25)

NOISE - Success

2010-09-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a ringing in your ears? It's a really irritating experience, and thankfully it is usually quite temporary. I have read that the ringing is caused by the breaking of the small strands inside the eardrum which resonate with auditory stimulus. It is these strands which first pick up the sound waves which are later translated in our brains into words, music, sirens, etc. The breaking of these strands represents hearing loss. For that reason, ringing in my ears has become considerably more irritating than it used to be. It has always been irritating though.

Sometimes ear ringing can last for dreadfully long periods of time. I have only experienced this on one or two occasions. Occasions when I could measure the duration in minutes instead of seconds. These long periods of ringing present now a more dreadful experience than mere irritation.

Sometimes distracting noise comes from inside our own head. When we talk about spiritual noise, success is one of those distractions that comes from within.

I love success. I love a job well-done. I love to stand back and admire the completed task at the end of a day of painting, gardening, or organization. The thing with success, is that in many circumstances it is quite measurable. If we're an actor, we can measure it by movie profits and academy awards. If we're an insurance salesman, we can measure it in contracts signed and commissions collected. If we're counselor, we can measure it by clients served and relationships restored. No matter who we are, we like to measure it in our paycheck, our title, our popularity, and our accumulations. But we do like to measure it.

I have run into a couple of problems in this respect. First, no matter what success I have already accomplished, there is always a new one laying ahead of me to which I must strive. And second, the most important things in this world are not so easy to measure.

Rarely are spiritual things quickly achieved in increments that more in a consistently forward momentum. But often include (and necessarily so) backtracking and side journeys. The things that seem like struggles or curses are lessons in spiritual maturity taught in the classroom of day to day living. What may be a setback in our career may be a leap forward in our spiritual life. The financial misfortune can be a spiritual boost. The physical ailment can be a spiritual vitamin boost. What may seem to be a loss can be a gain. What seems to be a burden can be an aid.

And so in my head is this noise that tries to lead my focus to measure things in terms of immediate success. I can easily be so enamored with a promotion or a raise that I begin to focus on achieving the next one. I can easily become so busy looking at numeric measuring tools that I am not listening to the still small voice of God leading me.

Yes, this noise in my head is such a distraction that I have missed many significant opportunities to see God and His plan clearly. This noise in my head is powerful and destructive. And sometimes the duration of the noise in potently long and leads me to grief.

It is said that God is looking for faithful people, not necessarily successful people. Or that God's definition of success is not the same as ours. Or that God doesn't need our success to accomplish His objective. If God's greatest success, the cross, looked like an unequivocal failure, then I am probably significantly handicapped at understanding His measure of success. I should therefor not strive for success by my own definition.

NOISE - Entertainment

2010-08-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

So, after my last post regarding "Noise," I knew that the next thing about which the Holy Spirit was going to deal with me would be entertainment. I even thought to myself, "I'm not going to post about that one, because then I won't ever be able to watch a movie with a friend again without feeling like I'm being hypocritical or something." So there's a great deal of resistance in me to address this source of spiritual distraction.

Now, let me say something before I continue any further in this series of posts that reflect my personal battle against spiritual distraction. I do not believe that a Christian is not allowed to have fun or that we are not allowed to have moments or seasons of personal enjoyment simply for the purpose of relaxation and happiness.

Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God. Ecclesiastes 5:19

The Bible teaches that the practice of "enjoyment" of things and experiences that are purchased through our income is a "gift of God." Enjoyment is a good thing. It can be a God thing.

I think the problem may begin with our inability to practice the contentment that we are instructed through Paul.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12)

And it's notable that in the book of Proverbs, foolishness - when characterized as a prostitute soliciting business - uses enjoyment as her sales pitch. Certainly enjoyment can lead us downward into foolishness and sin.

Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love. (Proverbs 7:18)

OK, now all of this was swirling in my mind after my last post. And then, this past weekend I had a chance to hang out with a friend whom I had not seen in some time. And in our conversation Tom began to talk about this great discipleship training ministry at his new church. My ears initially perked up because I have always envisioned a discipleship training institute as part of the epic vision. And as he went along, he repeated several ways and in several contexts that the course included, in ever-increasing increments, a requirement to limit the use of media in your life: ultimately attaining a limitation to 1 hour per week of all secular use of media in your life. Media is defined to include TV, movies, music, social networking, internet surfing for entertainment sake, books, and the like.

Honestly, my skin rippled at the thought. But then I began to ponder how much garbage goes in to my mind and spirit for the sake of entertainment. And I think of how much profitable spiritual enrichment could be fed to my spirit if I watched fewer movies, were committed to fewer shows, found less relaxation in mindless TV, played less "bejeweled"... (Of course, I would have to discipline myself to replace those things with truly spiritual things.) But, because I value entertainment so highly as a source of contentment and as a personal counselor to ease my mind at the end of a stressful day, it has become noise and distraction. It could be argued that in some areas it has become idolatry.

I have to one degree or another made entertainment a source for my personal happiness and well-being. There is such a fine line between enjoyment and reliance.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (1 Timothy 6:17)

The truth is that while it is good to enjoy the things God brings into my life, those things were not created for or necessarily intended for my enjoyment. They are intended for God's enjoyment. And when they distract me from my growing relationship with God, they bring God displeasure instead. They are noise and sin for me.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11) I use King James here because I learned a worship song as a child that quotes this verse in this language.

Noise - Internet Social Networking

2010-08-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, this is certainly not an original thought... but one that is currently necessary in my spiritual journey. Our lives are full of noise. Not necessarily auditory stimulus, but a variety of input that clutters up our heart. (In the Jewish mind, the heart is the center of the being and includes the elements of our mind, emotions, soul, and will. It is this definition that I am referencing.) It has been referred to as noise, because all of this clutter has the net effect of deafening us to God's still small voice. That is significant because as Christ followers, we are specifically instructed to keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), as we follow His voice (John 10:27).

OK?

So, I am determining to examine the noise in my life. I am going to look at the things that distract and why they are so charming to me and so tempt me into comfortable distance from God. This exercise may not be helpful to you. I hope that it is though.

I can get very engrossed in facebook. I never got into myspace. It just seemed like e-clubbing and had no lure for me. But the simplicity of shooting out some thoughts or updates to a select group of friends and family who may like to engage in an on-going conversation seemed much more legitimate to me. And when I bought into the idea that I could keep in contact with friends and relatives who are far off, I was sold. Truthfully, there is some real benefit in those areas. I really know several of my cousins much better because of our facebook connection. I have found a college friend with whom I had a very significant connection during that era of my life, and who I could not get a hold of by other means even though I had tried. I am aware of the goings on in some of my high school friends lives and even get a chance to have light discussion of some of those goings on.

But here's the noisy part. Sometimes, I get caught up. I'll sign on to just "check my facebook." And before I know it, I'll be commenting on dozens of my friends posts. And then, after commenting I'll refresh the page to see if any new posts show up on my home page. And then I'll go back through all of my comments to see if any re-comments have been posted. And if none have, I'll read any messages that are in my message box to waste some time and then I'll look back through my comments to make sure that my jokes were funny to my friend and their friends too. And there's no responsive comment, I'll just break down and send them a message with the joke that I already posted as a comment. And then I'll notice someone who commented on the same post who either looks familiar to me or whose comment intrigued me and I'll go to their profile to see if I really know them... And before I realize it, I have spent an hour posting and researching unnecessary and insignificant pithy little remarks. And I have eventually run out.

And then sometimes I log on to facebook just to post something from my own life. And the more I think about this, the more noisy this practice seems to me. I mean seriously, I rarely post some significant accomplishment or earth-changing event. I sometimes share developments in my kid's lives. And occasionally I post something that relates to my ministry or that reflects God to the facebook world. But most often my posts go something like this: "stuck in line at WalMart... guess I'll catch up on Linday Lohan." Or how about this one, "LOST tonight - can't wait to see Smokey bite the dust!" Now what is the real purpose of such posts?

I can't help but remember how in my youth I walked through the world as if I always had an audience. I thought everyone around me was somehow so interested in my life that they watched my every move. Of course then, it was all based on some kind of low self-esteem and an intense anxiety that I was always doomed to mess up somehow. But, why to I think anyone cares what I am watching on TV or that I am standing in line at the local branch of the world's discount czar. I mean is there some kind of narcissism going on here? Why would I think that 687 friends really want to know that kind of minutia? Do I like deluding myself into the belief that I really am the star of my own movie? I think of the worship song (the title of which I can't remember at the moment) that talks about the importance of an 'audience of One.' Living for God alone!!!

Now, just one more tangent before I conclude. What's up with facebook on the cell phone? Not only do we (I) allow it to eat up too much time at home and work, now I can actually tune out of my real and personal conversations to rudely dismiss the people who I am physically with to play to my audience via the cell phone. How ridiculous! How absurd! Just more proof that there is some kind of imbalance in the whole thing.

Noise! If just the fancy of the current trend or if truly a self-obsession that borders on idolatry, this kind of obsessive use of internet social networking is a problem. I'm not saying that all internet social networking is idolatry or sin. I'm saying that to one extent or another we have a new source of noise in our lives that has varying degrees of potential to drown out the voice of God.

Perhaps a internet fast would be revelatory to us all!
Perhaps creating a strictly enforced social networking 'diet' which allowed us no more than a cumulative time of 45 minutes/day!
Perhaps giving it up all together!

I am fully aware that blogging is one of these venues to which I am referring and my use of it for this subject may seem somehow hypocritical. We'll all have to judge that for ourselves. But here is my first installment of "noise." What are your thoughts?

A Succinct Description of God

2010-08-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here is just one of my thoughts so far during my vacation... Among several others, this thought keeps me thinking and working within myself for more of God and less of me...

(Sorry I haven't blogged more or facebooked. I have tried to really unplug during this vacation, other than the promised 'Adventures of Ruby' on the photog. Click on the photog link in the upper right to catch up on the family trip through Ruby's eyes. God is using this time to refresh us.)

Michael DiMarco says, “the best way to describe God is, ‘love.’” Now, I certainly know that God is love. (1John 4:8) and I have likely over pontificated the fact in more than one sermon. It has in fact been one of my favorite points to make when counseling people who carry the unnecessary baggage of guilt and shame. I say, “God doesn’t have love, create love, own love, or even give love... God IS love. It is His very nature and we cannot have any kind of relationship with Him, than a love relationship.” It is certainly a well-known theological position for me...

But, a description of Him? I usually launch into quite a long diatribe when describing God. And honestly, nobody ever asks me to describe Him. And certainly I don’t remember ever being asked, or being given an cause, to describe God succinctly. So I ponder, “the best way to describe God is, ‘love.’” Simple. That’s it.

The Bible tells us that God is powerful and majestic, that He is jealous, that He is faithful, worthy. (ie. Ps 29:4; Dt 4:24; Ps 25:10; Ps 18:3) And there are many other adjectives used to tell us what God is like and what is character is. But, to use a noun in description of God. To say that God is love is and reciprocal statement. The verb IS creates a powerful statement in which subject and object are interchangeable. I mean this statement can be said, ‘love is God,‘ just as truthfully as it is stated in it’s original form. That makes this a unique statement in the scripture.

OK, there I go pontificating again.

Here is what I am challenged with. If it is best to describe God as love, how am I doing at that?

Do my friends see love in me (I mean God in me)?

Am I patient with them?

Am I completely trustworthy for them?

Am I authentic with them?

Do they think of me when they have a need?

Do I turn the other cheek when I am wounded in our friendship?

What about strangers?

Am I patient with them?

Is kindness their first impression?

Do they recognize meekness, and humility in whatever strengths they see in me?

Do I make a positive impact on their situation?

What about widows and orphans?

What about prisoners, the hungry, those needing clothes?

If it is best to describe God as ‘love,’ I had better make love the cornerstone of my relationships... I want people to say that my God is love and they can tell by the way He acts through me.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8)

Thinking about Predestination and Freewill

2010-07-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

Moses calls the people to choose the way of life (following the instruction of God) or the way of death (serving the false gods of the pagan peoples around them)
"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, (Deuteronomy 30:19)
Joshua tells the people to choose to serve God or the idols of their neighbors.
"And if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:15)
The Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died for the sins of all people and wants all people to come to repentance. This does not mean that Jesus' death affects salvation for those who resist God's call.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
"And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself." (John 12:32)
For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God." (Romans 6:10)
"For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all shall be made alive." (1 Corinthians 15:22)
"For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." (2 Corinthians 5:15)
"For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers." (1 Timothy 4:10)
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men..." (Titus 2:11)
"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
"For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, in order that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit..." (1 Peter 3:18)
Yet, as we have faith to share the gospel with every person, we have to admit that the will to call, the act of saving, the justification of sin are completely in the hands of God and administered at His will. It is at this activity of His divine will that we are called His "elect:"
"And unless those days had been cut short, no life would have been saved; but for the sake of the elect those days shall be cut short. (Matthew 24:22);
"For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect. (Matthew 24:24);
"And He will send forth His angels with A GREAT TRUMPET and THEY WILL GATHER TOGETHER His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other." (Matthew 24:31);
"And unless the Lord had shortened those days, no life would have been saved; but for the sake of the elect whom He chose, He shortened the days. (Mark 13:20);
"...for false Christs and false prophets will arise, and will show signs and wonders, in order, if possible, to lead the elect astray. (Mark 13:22);
"And then He will send forth the angels, and will gather together His elect from the four winds, from the farthest end of the earth, to the farthest end of heaven." (Mark 13:27);
"...now shall not God bring about justice for His elect, who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?" (Luke 18:7)
In as much as we are instructed in the scripture to choose between God and the the ways of the world, the enemy, false gods; we are also told that it is Christ who chooses us.
"Jesus answered them, "Did I Myself not choose you, the twelve, and yet one of you is a devil?" (John 6:70);
"You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you." (John 15:16);
"...just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will..." (Ephesians 1:4-5)
I don't intend to give you a fully developed theological position here. I'm mostly sharing some of the things I have been thinking about lately. I have a couple of friends who occasionally like to plumb the depths of this particular subject with me. I thought it might be worth sharing some of the verses that recently came up in our studied conversation.
One thought that I have on the subject is that most of us don't like the tension that this subject brings on. But, I think that in the same way that we have to accept some tension in our faithful belief in the triune God in order to bring harmony to God's revealed word, we also have to accept that this discussion of predestination, election, and free will is a matter of divine mystery. It inherently beholds tension for us and wherever we land on the topic, the tension should keep us in check, so as not to wonder either into legalism or into license. ('License' is a blanket term that refers to exercising sin because of a perception of guaranteed grace. This is another tense subject all together.)
Please share some of your thoughts.

Grading Ourselves as Christ-Followers

2010-07-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

C. Peter Wagner, brilliant teacher and leader in the arena of Christian discipleship compiled a survey of measurable factors in Christian growth. I recently came across some of my notes from my college days and took some time to reflect on these things for myself. I thought you might like to spend some time meditating on them and giving yourself a spiritual check-up.

Wagner assembled the data from a nation-wide interview process in which he discovered these similarities in Christ-followers who claimed to experience a stronger faith and a closer connection to Christ. Wagner asserts that these factors both contribute to and result from that experience.

1. Bible knowledge. Growing Christians are increasing in their grasp of the teachings of the Bible. They can integrate this with a theological system that enables them to apply the Bible's teachings to their life situation.

2. Personal devotions. Growing Christians spend time daily in prayer, Bible reading, meditation, and other personal spiritual exercises.

3. Worship. Growing Christians regularly participate in the worship services scheduled by the church.

4. Witnessing. Growing Christians regularly attempt to share their faith in Jesus Christ with unbelievers.

5. Lay ministry. Growing Christians are involved in such ministries as teaching and discipling. In some cases this happens through consciously discovering, developing, and using their spiritual gifts.

6. Missions. They actively supports missions, participating in and financing home and foreign missionaries.

7. Giving. Growing Christians give an appropriate portion of their income to the local church and/or to other Christian causes.

8. Fellowship. Growing Christians are growing in their personal relationships with each other through regular participation in church fellowship groups of one kind or another.

9. Distinctive life-style. Growing Christians generally manifest their faith in Christ by living a life-style clearly and noticeable distinct from that of non-Christians in the same community.

10. Attitude toward religion. Growing Christians regard their involvement in the church primarily as a service to God rather than a means to fulfill personal needs.

11. Social service. Growing Christians are serving others outside the congregation. This includes direct personal involvement with the poor and needy, or in programs designed to help the needy.

12. Social justice. Either through the congregation as a whole or through specialized Christian agencies, growing Christians are striving to make changes in sociopolitical structures that will contribute to a more moral and just society.

I give myself a C. I have been too focussed on my own struggles to flourish in my Christian growth for some time now. I am experiencing healing and restoration over time and in increasing volume. As God gives me strength, I hope to improve my social service, fellowship, social justice and my distinctive lifestyle. How about you. Which of these indicators will you focus on God's calling and empowerment in order to see growth?

A Grace Parable

2010-07-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

John was a university student: brainy, eccentric, unkempt, and solitary. Unaware that his personality was a put off to those around him, John was a bit of a character on the campus. Everyone knew him, chuckled a bit at the mention of him, but when it came to competing for the grade, they all respected or even feared him.

Near John's campus was a well-respected church with a long history in the community. A decade before John came to school, the church had incorporated the name of the university into it's name in an effort to launch a ministry to the students there. However, the church remained mostly effective in ministering to established, wealthier, conservative, people. Sundays were characterized by people dressed in their best attire and following a well-known, yet unspoken code of Sunday behavior.

One Sunday John decided to turn his attention away from academic pursuits and examine the condition of his own soul by attending church. He walked into the church late, after the pastor had already begun to preach. He wore his personal uniform of grungy jeans, a holey white T-shirt, and sockless Birkenstock sandals. When he arrived, the sanctuary was full to capacity with people in suit and skirt. He tried to find a seat near the back to begin his spiritual search in anonymity, but none could be found. Unwittingly finding himself in the center aisle, he slowly continued forward looking for the first available seat.

Eventually, John commanded more and more attention from the congregants and the environment of the room became uncomfortable as this obvious outsider upset the delicate balance of the church's culture by his mere presence. John continued forward looking for a seat and stealing more attention from the minister. Eventually the minister himself struggled to continue with his sermon as he wondered what would transpire next.

John did not find an available seat in the rows of pews and finally gave up. So, John picked up his head and turned his attention to a seat that no one expected. John walked up to the pulpit and sat down about four feet away, cross-legged on the ground.

The congregation could feel the oxygen in the room become suddenly thick and their padded seats become increasingly uncomfortable. And then a church deacon from the back of the room began to make his way forward, up the same aisle that just moments before had ushered John to the very front. After all, something had to be done. Everyone knew it and everyone knew what IT was.

The deacon, along in age, moved slowly toward John and his keys jingled in his pocket in cadence with his slight limp. With every jingle a new tension was born in the room ans the congregation looked on in expectation of IT. The situation would soon be dealt with and soon all would feel relieved.

The minister saw what was about to transpire and struggled to keep to his notes, eventually giving way to the silence that had already enshrouded the rest of the room.

When the deacon got to the front of the room, he painfully climbed the steps to the stage, laboring with each climbing step. Then finally reaching John, he reached over and put his hand on John's shoulder and using the stability he gained, lowed himself to a seated position next to John, took off his coat and tie, and motioned to the pastor to continue.

The minister looked up at the members of his flock. He wept. And eventually gaining his composure said, "Nothing I could say to you would measure up to the sermon on grace that you have just witnessed. " And with that he dismissed them all and took John to lunch.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10)

(This is a well known story and the telling above is my version. I first heard it in college and heard it recently re-told by Rick McCullough.)

Christians Need a Good Attitude

2010-07-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

Joe Theismann enjoyed an illustrious 12-year career as quarterback of the Washington Redskins, ending in the year I graduated from high school. He led the team to two Super Bowl appearances--winning in 1983 before losing the following year. When a leg injury forced him out of football in 1985, he was entrenched in the record books as Washington's all-time leading passer.

Theismann is quoted in Reader's Digest Magazine (1992) describing an insipid descent in his attitude that reminds him to this day about the role of attitude.

"I got stagnant. I thought the team revolved around me. I should have known it was time to go when I didn't care whether a pass hit Art Monk in the 8 or the 1 on his uniform. When we went back to the Super Bowl, my approach had changed. I was griping about the weather, my shoes, practice times, everything.

Today I wear my two rings--the winner's ring from Super Bowl XVII and the loser's ring from Super Bowl XVIII. The difference in those two rings lies in applying oneself and not accepting anything but the best."

Now, I don't mean this to be a motivational moment, or some kind of self-help pep talk. I do mean to discuss a problem that we face in the Kingdom of God. I do mean to call us to move beyond self-centered church shopping. I do mean to inspire us to continue fighting the good fight and to fight that fight against darkness and the Father of Lies with dedication and renewed vigor. Look what the Holy Spirit says to us about excellence and self-assessment.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Romans 12:3-8)

Are we stagnant?
Are we too self-significant?
Are we satisfied with being a mediocre servant in our church?
Are we focussed on the things that bug us more than the things we are called to?
Are we using anything as an excuse for these attitudes?

Let's ask God to show us if we have done less than our best in serving Him and His kingdom. Let's allow His Spirit to reveal our negative attitudes that keep us from fully committing ourselves to our ministry in our churches and in our communities. And lets cultivate an attitude of humble commitment to our team and to personal excellence in our expression of God's gifts.

In Romans 12 the Holy Spirit teaches us that excellence in serving begins with a right attitude. Our attitude seems to operate as a valve for the operation of the Holy Spirit through us.

I Don't Always Blog

2010-06-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

It has been some time since I have posted anything on this blog. To those of you who have been checking in on me, "I'm truly sorry." And, unfortunately I don't mean that apology as a promise of more consistent posting. The truth is that I don't always blog.

I very often sit in my chair and think stare at this screen trying to be brilliant, spiritual, wise, and insightful. And honestly, most of the time I am none of those things. Occasionally I have something worth sharing. Once in a while I am down right creative and inspired. But most of the time, I stare at this screen and fall short.

Sometimes, feeling guilty for not blogging, I troll other sights for some inspiration. "Things Christians Like" always makes me laugh and go "hmmmm". "Crazy Tyler Stanton" too. I keep thinking that I just need a nugget to go on and I'll get inspired. Sometimes I think that I will just completely plagiarize, changing enough words and phrases to pass as my own work. And sometimes I just plain get caught up in the stories of other bloggers and loose the desire to do anything on my own blog.

Once in a while I get some inspiration of something to share while I am driving, reading, meditating, or having a discussion and I want to run to the computer to get my thoughts on the screen while the inspiration is hot. I do have a few drafts started from those moments. But mostly unfinished. Other times, I'm in the middle of something and that inspiration doesn't ever get translated into a blog post.

Inspiration. It is such a necessary thing. It is necessary for all of life. See Webster's definition below.

Inspiration: "a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul."

I am wrestling with my inner worth. I don't want to strive for brilliance, wisdom, insight, or the appearance of spirituality. I want to know God and be inspired by Him for all that I am and all that I do. It shall be my quest... to know Him more.

And I suspect the more I know Him, the more inspired I shall be. And the more inspired I become, the more plethoric this blog will be. ("Plethoric:" there's an inspiring word!)

National Day of Prayer 9

2010-05-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Merritt's game.

My God, My Father, My Savior, My Friend,

Thank you for epic church. Thank you for the calling you gave me for this ministry in this town to these companions. Thank you for the meaningful friendships that we share. Thank you for the mission we share. Thank you for the significant times of collective worship we share. Thank you that I don't have to work out my spiritual growth in a vacuum, but I have friends to work it out with.

God, guide us continually into faith-filled risks for your kingdom's sake. Keep inspiring us to try more, explore more, find more ways to expand our experience of you and our impact on the world you Love. Inspire new creativity in our ministries to children, students, and adults. Direct us to the specific needs of Hanford that you want us to serve for your honor. Help us reach more people for your kingdom in our personal relationships.

God empower us with you Holy Spirit to live and serve in Your power. Break down any barrier that stands in the way of your empowerment in our lives and our church. Make us bold worshippers, courageous witnesses, committed disciples, authentic friends, faithful servants, holy Christians.

Let your word dwell in us richly; effecting change in our individual and personal character. Change our hearts so that we want to live radically according to your word. Help us to reject any idea of adding some God to our lives, or living our lives better with God in them. Instead, empower us to live wholly for You, sacrificing all that is ours so that we have only You and what is yours.  Help us to rise above the standards of western culture and see sacrifice, service, generosity, humility, and grace as central values.

Glorify yourself through us in any way that you see fit. Cause us to do only the things that bring you honor and fame. Make your name famous through us. We reject any credit for what you do.

God reach hurting people through epic. Reach angry people through epic. Reach content people through epic.  Reach searching people through epic. Reach confused people, discouraged people, misdirected people, any people you would have us reach. Help us to be a people who are gracious and unstuffy, passionate and tracking with you, spiritual and Spirit-led, grounded in the truth and established in faith.

Help us to love mercy,
act justly,
and walk with you in humility.

Raise up your leaders for the movement you want us to be. Leaders with your heart, your purpose, your character, and your commitment. continue to lead us by your presence in us all.

Teach us the supremacy of love...
Be the center.

And to you be all the the honor and glory, because of your power.
In the name of the one and only God who is triune.
Amen

National Day of Prayer 9

2010-05-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

Finished dinner and getting ready for Hanford Youth Baseball. (It's Cal Ripkin not Little League.)

A PSALM (23) FOR BRUCE

The Lord is my CEO. And I'm well compensated: beyond my need.

He has given me a better than average American tract home in which to rest comfortably; and He keeps Wal Mart fully stocked with groceries when I am hungry.

Whenever I am losing heart, He overcomes me with refreshment through His encouraging Spirit and the fellowship of my Christian friends. And when I am tempted, His Spirit guides to to the nearest escape.

When my circumstance is so bad that I cannot see a way through, or when things are so bad that I wish I were dead, I can find comfort and resilience when I recognize Him guiding and correcting me... even disciplining me to keep me safe. I am comforted by these things. Sometimes, surprisingly so!

When I think my enemies are winning, He is so sure of our victory that He is already preparing a banquet for my in Heaven. When I choose prayer and worship in the midst of attack, it's like I'm already at that banquet, enjoying the sweet presence of the victorious Lamb of God.

I am convinced that my whole life will be filled with His goodness and mercy raining down on me. And He will be my constant companion through the indwelling of His Spirit, since I am His temple.

Amen

National Day of Prayer 8

2010-05-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

Mason just left to play at his friend's house. His friend's dad is away on naval duty.

Jesus - Prince of Peace,
I pray for peace. I admit that I do not understand peace in our time. Lord, all I see is the confusion of our fallenness and the sinful ambition of many who are in powerful positions in the world. I see hatred running rampant and pride unabated. Yet, to You I come asking for peace.

Bring an end to the reign of tyrants in the nations of our world. Squash the strongholds of hatred in the powerhouses of our world's governments. End war. Bring our soldiers home safely.

Thank you for those Americans who have given their lives to the service of peace as soldiers. And I hate the idea that preserving peace comes at the hands of soldiers, but I know that the absolute irony of that reality is born in the sin of humans. So God please protect our soldiers and accomplish peace without their death.

I pray that humans worldwide would find eternal peace with you so that earthly peace may be realized. I know that you will allow a leader promising false peace to come, but Lord delay his coming so that we servants of the gospel may have more effect on the souls of this Earth.

Keep our nation free from the terror of attack on our soil. Keep soldiers of terror at bay as you did in New York this very week. Thank you for your protection.

Give our leaders supernatural wisdom to avoid war for any cause and wisdom to win any unavoidable war quickly and without loss of human life. Lord, if any life must be lost in war, let it be one who is redeemed by you and will certainly enter into your glory. And surely save those who are spared so that their earthly life may have eternal purpose and expand your kingdom.

Make your people in America and around the world, ambassadors of your peace. True peace. Peace with God so that your rule and reign on this planet is accomplished through us.

I love you Papa God. Thank you for your eternal peace in my life.

Amen

National Day of Prayer 7

2010-05-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

My kids just came home from school.

Papa God,
I lift up to you the teachers and school administrators of our nation. Though the system has tried to lock you out, you have many ambassadors in the classrooms of our nation. Thank you for these teachers. Make them great at their task and use them in ways that they do not even realize, to nurture the souls of our nation.

Encourage our teachers who feel over-worked and over-loaded. Ease their fears and frustrations related to the budget cuts they are experiencing. Keep the excellent teachers who serve You in the classrooms of our nation during this era of teacher lay-offs.

Sustain every teacher in their task and compel them toward excellence. Give them supernatural patience and wisdom, insight into the specific needs of each child and the time and ability to exercise that wisdom. Bring parents on board with each teacher so that their efforts can be multiplied. Give teachers the ability to inspire as they educate and the energy they need to burn that candle on both ends. Meet their needs financially so that they can stay encouraged and focused on their important roles in our country.

Bring unity between administration and faculty as they strive together for the shared goal of preparing our children for their roles in our nation. Prevent politics and divisiveness from interrupting excellence in education. And put more authority in the hands of teachers to use their skills and a variety of resources to reach their students.

Amen

National Day of Prayer 6

2010-05-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Thinking about the economy.

God, Holy and True, Eternal and Close, Friend and Father,

From the bowels of the economic institutions that guide the business of this country, to the mom-and-pop shops that serve our cities and towns everywhere, restore equity and integrity to the business dealings of our nation. Change the hearts of vicious business persons who have only personal gain in mind and who are willing to squash others in its pursuit.

Make fair treatment of all a core value once again of business in our country.

Let truth guide and guard all the transactions of business in our country. Create a community perspective that seeks the good of all in the pursuit of success in business. Convict those who create structures and who initiate transactions that damage others in pursuit of only personal financial gain. And then, draw them to new standards of business practice that are both effective and equitable.

Defeat the spirit of opportunism that looks for loop-holes and creates money mongers who abuse economic systems to win financial gain when impending financial ruin will knowingly befall others. And God, please help those who find themselves homeless and jobless in the aftermath of such business dealings in our country today. And God, bless those business persons who follow your principles of integrity and fairness. Bring them to positions of influence that will change the tide of fiscal dealings in America. Bless this economy so that Americans may continue to bless the world through our generosity and world-wide care.

Help those of us who follow you to know when we have enough and like your servant Paul to practice the discipline of contentment, and to see our resources as Yours so that Your kingdom will expand as we use those resources for Your purposes in our lives, in Your church, in this nation.

Amen

National Day of Prayer 5

2010-05-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the Kings County National Day of Prayer Luncheon.

Papa God,
I realize how far we are from you as a country. In our efforts to protect freedom of religion we, as a nation, have relegated You to the position of one among many. I am sorry. I don't know how to correct it. I feel trapped in that reality because I want my freedom protected, but I want you to be lifted up as the I AM, the one and only God that you are. And I feel like we will never know your truest blessing as a country while we embrace false gods. Forgive us God!

Help me to keep You sovereign in my life. And move upon the hearts and spirits of Christians in political position to keep you sovereign in their lives and in their roles in governing. Move authentic Christ-followers into government positions and redeem our country for Yourself. Give me wisdom and revelation about standing for you in a pluralistic society with integrity and passion for your holy name.

Amen

National Day of Prayer 4

2010-05-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

THE PSALM OF BRUCE

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
He placed me in a family where Christian faith was genuine.
His love endures forever.